Etsomnia™ Volume XVI: Making a Mis-Statement

November 13, 2014 by Donna from MyOBT 29 Comments

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

Statement necklaces are this goofy trend that suggests you can casually pair the crown jewels with a t-shirt and dirty sweatpants and magically look effortlessly chic (see picture right, which is definitely NOT me). Though I’m no Iris Apfel, I think I’m finally getting the hang of the statement necklace trend, thank goodness. My early efforts looked more like I was a housekeeper trying on the missus’ jewels while I cleaned her bathroom.

Even little miss Mayhem is getting in on the act!

Even little miss Mayhem, who was the subject of my very first post, is getting in on the act!

When I was crafting last week’s Etsomnia wedding issue, I did a search for “wedding statement necklace,” and the statement I most often uttered was “AAAAAAHHHHH!” The results were so dramatic and nutty, I decided statement jewelry needed its own post. So here it is in all its gaudy, goofy, giddy glory. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed researching it, which was a lot.

Links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Materials: dirty silver, fake amber, germs.
Statement: This is what happens when you shop drunk on vacation

Materials: glass pearls, vintage crap jewelry, deep sadness.
Statement: I miss my Gran

Materials: plastic, frozen spiders, pokey stuff.
Statement: Keep Out

Materials: feathers, plastic rhinestones, bubble gum.
Statement: I still play with my Barbies every day

Materials: Fire, uranium, traffic cones.
Statement: I put hot sauce on everything

Materials: chains, small tools, ex-boyfriend’s dreadlocks.
Statement: Ready for anything

Materials: brass, dental floss, contents of junk drawer.
Statement: I’m wearing hemp underwear

Materials: kindergarten artwork, cat hair, paper clips. Statement: My house is filled with tiny plastic dinosaurs

Materials: kindergarten artwork, mommy juice, rusty paper clips.
Statement: My house is filled with tiny plastic dinosaurs

Materials: felt, tears, irony.
Statement: I skype with my cat daily

Materials: rhinestones, ribbon, unicorn dandruff.
Statement: My ideal man is a Brony (Disclaimer: I actually love this one, I just think it’s too immature to actually wear)

Materials: Every bead in the world, fishing line, hydraulics.
Statement: I am trying too hard

Materials: Barbie, ribbon, malice aforethought.
Statement: This is a cry for help

Materials: lace, chain, romantic frustration.
Statement: I have read all the Twilight books. Twice.
(Love this one, too. Just can’t resist a Twilight joke!)