“. . . turn toward me . . . right arm vaguely over your head . . . look like you smell something bad . . . now adjust your thong . . .perfect!”

I get that this is a fairly difficult yoga pose, but it doesn’t make me want to buy the pants. It just makes them look like they’ve already been farted in.

Ladies and gentlemen, the Uni(corn) Bomber

Maybe if we all pose together, and throw a banner at the bottom, it won’t seem weird . . .

This looks to me like Michael Berryman in a dress made of the scalps of his victims (to be fair, I hear he is a lovely man in spite of his terrifying looks)

Marvin the Martian’s great grandmother, Marlene. (Not a vintage picture, by the way)

In case it wasn’t immediately apparent, the listing was for the bracelets.

Whatever she’s looking at, she seems quite pleased with it. It must be something out of frame, because I don’t see anything worth getting that excited about.

Nobody puts Hipster Barbie in the corner!

Please ignore Chernobyl behind me and look at the flowers!

“We’re trying to expand into the lady wrestler market, so try to twist off her head.”

“Okay, now slide your right leg back . . . more . . . more . . . good. . . now right hand on hip . . . twist back toward me . . . left hand scratching your scalp . . . harder . . . good . . . now DUCKFACE”

The caption should be “Take the fucking picture already.”

A little advice: When trying to take a picture of yourself wearing the items for sale, either use a mirror or phone a friend. Also, it’s hard to convince people your items come from a “smoke free home” when you’re smoking in the picture.

If you’re going to sit like this, it’s always a good idea to keep your face covered.

Finally, a model you can fold up and store in the overhead compartment!

In the animal world, this is known as “presenting.” (B.T.W., I have those shoes.)

Who does depression hurt?

Even without a head, she looks bored. And who can blame her? She’s dressed as Raggedy Ann minus the pinafore.

I am pleased to report that, according to the other pictures, she does, in fact, have at least one more leg.