Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

When you care enough to send the very best?

Beloved and I really get into giving each other funny cards. On birthdays and holidays, we each give the other between 3 and 6 cards. This is why I consider myself something of a greeting card expert. Not surprisingly, Etsy sellers’ funny Valentine’s Day selections run the gamut from awesomely funny I-don’t-care-what-shipping-costs cards to so-terrible-I’m-posting-it-on-my-Facebook-wall cards, and I’m here to celebrate the lot!

Some are so full of awesome that they made my brain explode. Others are full of something else. For example, here is something so offensive, I lacked the nerve to post a picture. Click if you must, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Warning: things get a little rude below, so if you’re easily offended, go rewatch the funny cat video instead!

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.