Etsomnia™ Volume XXXIX: Derby Day

April 30, 2015 by Donna from MyOBT 26 Comments

Perhaps the biggest fascinator in the history of fascination. By BWerson74

Perhaps the largest fascinator in the history of fascination. By my hero BWerson74, who offers many fabulous / crazy hat choices

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

This week’s Etsomnia post is about spring hats. Much like Etsomnia XV: Hat Shit Crazy, today, we celebrate some of Etsy’s wackiest head coverings. However, since the first Saturday in May is only two days away, today, we’re celebrating wacky Etsy headgear Kentucky Derby style! (In other words, all the hats that appear in today’s post were the results of an Etsy search for “derby hat.”)

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Even though another hat was funnier, I couldn’t resist this pose.

Well, that’s one way to clear out your junk drawer. But doesn’t Tiny Tim look lovely?

And because that one wasn't enough crazy, here's another winner from LaHatterieMillinery

This should come with beanbags in case the kids get bored.

Surprise! Dinosaur fascinator by PrancingPeacockHats

Dinosaur fascinator by a seller who I suspect is actually a 5-year-old boy.

Want to look at once springy and like a lunatic? Here's just the thing! By RubyandCordelias

Want to look both spring-like and loony? Has Etsy ever got the hat for you!

And clearly a contender in the most-obnoxious-to-sit-behind category, here is a pink head shrub by darnasderbyhats

A leading contender in the most-obnoxious-to-sit-behind category, here is a poufy pink ballgown for your head.

I feel strongly that they missed an opportunity by not making the hat band plaid.

This happened to me once when I pulled a thread on a sweater. I assume it's the same thing. By HatArtists

I ended up with something that looked like this once when I pulled a thread on a cheap sweater. I assume that’s what happened here.

Here’s something understated and tasteful from the Whoville collection.

This is called “Queen of Atlantis,” which makes me wonder if Atlantis sank into the sea because it was weighed down by stupid hats.

Do you think she put that on deliberately or is she stuck in a bear trap and attached the flowers to dress it up?

This hat is reminding me of something . . .

This style is all the rage during quarter quell games in the Capitol this season.

True story: I am currently sporting a sinus headache that feels exactly like this hat looks. By HatsByCressida

True story: I am currently sporting a headache that feels exactly like this hat looks.

Similar to the bear trap hat, I have to assume this poor creature accidentally got her head stuck in a basket and is bravely trying to make the best of it.