Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

It’s been a big month. First, on July 20, I published my 1,000th post, and now here is my 100th episode of Etsomnia™. (Technically, it’s number 102. There were apparently two number 52s because I was day drinking, and a 2a because I hit the wrong button and published two in one day by accident. Bygones.) Although it was more than two years ago, it seems like only yesterday when I found myself unable to sleep, and first resorted to perusing Etsy in the middle of the night. An Attack of Etsomnia (A.K.A. Etsomnia Volume I) was actually sweet and filled with beautiful things (if a bit aimless)! It was in Etsomnia Volume IIa that I published my first curse word, but it wasn’t until Etsomnia Volume IV that I started to explore the more, let’s call them surprising items on Etsy. Good times!

So this week, because I’m filled with the milk of human kindness, Etsomnia is chock-full of beautiful things, most which would make great gifts (or at least great gag gifts for people with a sense of humor). Mind you, there are 105 thousand – yes, thousand – $100 items on Etsy, and not even I could get through them all, though I did my best. So here, without further ado, are 100 of my favorite $100 items for sale on Etsy (plus one turkey). Now, go give these sellers some love!

Home & Living

Chalkboard play table & chairs
Reclaimed hanging wood shelf
Pair of Mason jar pendant lights
Wood & metal 3D house number
4 personalized engraved glass bottles
Wooden pony swing
Walnut liquor dispenser
Hanging chandelier planter
Daisy Millefiori candleholder
Children’s Adirondack chair
Maple wood salad bowl
French country end table
Framed glass monthly calendar
American hardwood cutting board
3D-printed wavy vase
Beach-style end table
Set of 4 customized flasks with shot glasses

Clothing & Accessories

White tulle bridal skirt
Silver glitter Converse all stars
Guatemalan-embroidered cowl-neck
Purple fairy wings
Sheer Striped Black Top
Green leather oxfords
Retro black & white swimsuit
Tod’s Italy blue suede purse
Long Regency-style dress
Fringed leather jacket
Feathered fire headdress
Kimono robe
Sequin bridesmaid’s gown
Open-weave sweater
Hand-painted silk scarf
Standup collar wrap dress
Mondrian cocktail dress
Art Deco-style wooden clutch
Pirate costume gown
Pinup halter sundress

 Jewelry

Gemstone stacking rings
Modern geometric earrings
Dendrite opal necklace
Green amethyst drop earrings
Neutral quartz statement necklace
Amethyst crown
Murano glass bubble necklace
Art nouveau enameled brooch
Rough diamond earrings
Baltic amber choker
Fern bracelet
Choker with gold drape
Crazy lace agate earrings
Pearl leather wrap necklace
Greek Orthodox wedding crowns
Gold & cement square stud earrings
Amethyst cube pendant
Mother-of-pearl spiral earrings
Milk necklace*
*You really had to see that one

Antiques

1950s movie theater chair
Vintage metal school desk
Dual cigarette lighter/case
Vintage toy sewing machine
Art Deco dresser
Working 1910 Kodak Autographic
Mother-of-pearl opera glasses
Louis Vuitton tennis racket cover
Art Deco manicure set
Working 1920s wind-up photograph
Fuchsia mid-century modern ottoman
Matching Art Deco vase & cocktail shaker

Art

Yellow spalted maple vessel
Wooden waveform wall art
Beach shack painting
Nautilus & stained glass panel
Poppy field painting
Jewel-toned conical vessel
Custom watercolor house portrait
Kinetic yard sculpture
Recycled metal motorcycle sculpture
Impressionist cow painting
Greek bronze horse sculpture
Chanel No. 5 perfume painting
Black & white thrown pot

Other

Custom-made piñata
3 months of the Donut of the Month Club
Wood, leather, & marble ballpoint pen
2.7 carat flawless pink/orange labradorite
Ceiling/wall-mounted cat bed with porch
Stone & chrome shaving set
Contemporary SHIN mezuzah
Party pack of 10 wearable unicorn horns
Miniature replica of your home
Littmann rhinestone stethoscope
Giant Jenga
Exit sign guitar amp
One week of social media management
Taco truck birdhouse
Metal Wolverine claws