I have never been one of those people who gets a case of the squees every time I see a baby picture. Sure, they’re cute (mostly) and soft and their heads smell like the fountain of youth, and the ones I love definitely own me, hook, line, and sinker (and they know it). But generally speaking, I think babies are kind of jerks. They’re moody, they’re sticky, they’re messy, and they cannot be reasoned with. They’re like your worst roommate except they will never, ever pay rent. Turns out I’m not the only one who thinks babies aren’t that great.
I really do not spend a ton of time on Twitter. Everything I publish on the blog auto posts on Twitter every day (@My_OBT), but the format doesn’t really speak to me in the way that some other social media sites do. That is until I saw the tweet above and a few of those below. These are tweets about babies either by parents or by those who are grateful NOT to be parents. They are so laugh-out-loud funny, they inspired me to wander through the Twitter-verse on a search for further examples of baby bashing*. I had an absolute blast!
*Not literally. Please call off the authorities.
August 13, 2016 at 6:31 am
They are funny, Donna 🙂
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August 13, 2016 at 10:02 am
I loved them!
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August 13, 2016 at 6:47 am
Ha! as not a baby fan, this was a riot.
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August 13, 2016 at 10:03 am
Glad you liked them!
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August 13, 2016 at 7:51 am
OMYGAWD. I snorted. Coffee came out of my nose. You owe me a keyboard. 😉❤️
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August 13, 2016 at 10:03 am
I regret nothing!
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August 13, 2016 at 10:14 am
Ha ha ha! As someone who was never a fan of the baby stage even with my own much-loved children, these made me chortle. The one about the scary mommy particularly made me laugh because just the other night my youngest kids were using the resident poltergeist (https://pictinpa.wordpress.com/2016/07/27/our-resident-poltergeist/) as an excuse to be buttheads at bed time and my response was, “Know what’s scarier than a poltergeist? Me of you don’t get yourselves back to bed by the time I count to three!”
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August 13, 2016 at 11:54 am
That’s fantastic!
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August 13, 2016 at 12:22 pm
Absolutely hilarious! XD
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August 13, 2016 at 12:29 pm
They really are. I love funny people!
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August 13, 2016 at 2:50 pm
Wonder who that Dawn M is who says the infant just wants company. Totally something I would say! And yet didn’t…but her name rocks.
These were funny. I loved the one about looking for the chocolate. Spit worthy…and yet, hiding behind the chain link fence was classic! I have actually seen that and it was funny then and it is still funny.
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August 13, 2016 at 4:10 pm
I used to feel badly about laughing at my children. Then I realized our parents did it, too.
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August 13, 2016 at 4:39 pm
You bet they did and my mom took pictures and still laughs!
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August 14, 2016 at 9:00 am
Just spent a week with an 8, a 6 and a 20 month so well prepared to find these hilarious. Must remember the first one for the next visit!
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August 14, 2016 at 9:34 am
I’ve already managed to use it. It made me really happy!
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August 16, 2016 at 11:59 am
Love Exploding Unicorn, but thanks for pointing these others out. The everything bagel comment is gold.
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August 16, 2016 at 12:12 pm
It really is. I got to use it in conversation this week, and I briefly considered taking credit. (I eventually ‘fessed up.)
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