The twins looked at each other in horror. She wanted to put her feet WHERE?!?
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Derpy is a made-up word often used to describe facial expressions on animals and people that look awkward, goofy, or very, very stoned. And derpery is not a new concept. It has been with us for as long as there have been artists with only a passing understanding of what people and animals are supposed to look like.
Of course, I am abundantly aware that Etsy is basically derp central, but even so, I was amazed by the sheer breadth and depth of the derp. Enjoy!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.
Taxiderpy is just one of Etsy’s specialties.
Myrna knew her legs were her best feature … and that wasn’t saying very much.
Turns out derpery is as common in the vintage category as it is in the handmade stuff
A rare view of the now-extinct neckless mountain lion. Unable to turn their heads, most of them died while spinning in a circle trying to see who was laughing at them.
These are cat “bowl fillers.” I assume this is the bowl to which they refer.
Nothing to see here. Just a poorly-painted tiger in false eyelashes humping a lion.
Is this hat making anyone else feel a sudden need to re-watch Mr. Deeds?
The Etsy scarf category seem especially rife with derp. This, for example, is an alligator, allegedly.
Where but Etsy can you buy a wicker monkey purse that looks like it’s been crying?
Incoming hairball in 3… 2…
It is a little-known fact that wall-eyed poodles are excellent golfers.
I don’t want to buy her, but I’d hire her. She looks very competent.
When grandpa gets new dentures and can’t stop smiling…
Etsy, for all your taxidermied hedgehog hatpin needs.
Chester was beginning to wonder if he should have asked for credentials. How would he know if this guy was a real crocodile proctologist?
Princess Margot always regretted how much she resembled her father’s side of the family.
No matter how much he begged, they would never let Rupert play in their reindeer games. Fuckers.
The reader caption contest is back! Write your captions in the comments.
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My OBT 
September 8, 2016 at 6:24 am
“Street drugs sure are a lot stronger than I remember as a kid, eh honey?”
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September 8, 2016 at 7:10 am
Ha! Love it.
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September 8, 2016 at 7:35 am
Reblogged this on mgthumbprints and commented:
Just for fun! Enjoy and follow her!
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September 8, 2016 at 8:25 am
Thank you, Nancy!
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September 8, 2016 at 7:37 am
I hope you don’t mind, I reblogged you again! I just love Etsomnia!
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September 8, 2016 at 8:26 am
Mind? I’m delighted! Thank you. You made my day!
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September 8, 2016 at 9:32 am
Oh man. This post was a trip. It reminded me of my grandmas old shed and some of the things we would find in it when I was a little girl…right down to the taxidermy rodent. I hated going into that shed. Big, dusty, ghost town creepy. I swear I have seen some of these items before. Were the shop locations in the Appalachians by chance? If so, I want what should have been willed to me! Names and addresses please.
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September 8, 2016 at 9:36 am
That’s so funny! The stupid hatpin reminded me of something we found in my Great Aunt Nora’s jewelry box after she died. Scared the hell out of me! (I was 6.)
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September 8, 2016 at 9:40 am
Lol. Boo!
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September 8, 2016 at 9:48 am
I was going to write a caption, but rossmurray1’s seems to sum it all up!
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September 8, 2016 at 10:48 am
He did knock it out of the park!
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September 8, 2016 at 10:03 am
Back in the day being able to keep one eye on the pot and the other up the chimney was a skill to be envied.
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September 8, 2016 at 10:49 am
(spits water at phone)
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September 8, 2016 at 2:06 pm
Oh my word! This is like a showcase of derpy, like the gold medal winners from the Derpy Olympics. I am also very glad that you have introduced me to the term Taxiderpy. I need to share that word with my kids. I am also going to show them that first link you had, the one to the website of derpy animals. They will explode with laughter.
Now to the caption contest. I suck at these things but shall have a go. Algernon could make the same face as Hubert without the aid of the gerkin butt plug.
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September 8, 2016 at 2:51 pm
Fantastic! Gerkin Butt Plug is definitely the best band name of the week!
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September 9, 2016 at 12:03 am
Am I the only one who feels strangely ill?
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September 9, 2016 at 12:06 am
That wasn’t a submission btw. Just my visceral response to the derpextravaganza
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September 9, 2016 at 6:04 am
Ha! I know. It’s bad.
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September 9, 2016 at 12:06 am
Definitely not.
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October 12, 2016 at 1:49 pm
Sailor says “oi, that there’s got to be a world record , mate” she says “my hero”. Great post – especially loved the reindeer.
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October 12, 2016 at 2:57 pm
Thank you! That reindeer is pretty special.
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November 27, 2016 at 2:45 pm
I definitely have this disorder. My Etsy shop browsing usually starts in the morning before I jump in the shower. lol.
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November 27, 2016 at 2:55 pm
Boy, do I know how that feels! Nice to meet a fellow sufferer!
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