“You know what this tree is missing? A legless duckface baby with disco eye shadow” said no one ever
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
It’s time for my annual send-up of the best (and, let’s face it, the worst) that Etsy’s imaginative holiday decorations have to offer. Be prepared. This one’s a lot.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
Though billed as a holiday fireplace, it looks pretty flammable. I hope.
I don’t know what makes her a Christmas decoration, but I absolutely love her! By CeramicArtbyLucy
I am positively obsessed with these tinted, hand-painted Mason jar candleholders. By HennaArtDiaries
Wrong way Santa may seem a little weird, but that’s only because you haven’t seen him straight on
I’m sorry, but Draco Malfoy is just not pulling off the angel thing
Look at that face! By TheRockingFelter
Nothing says Christmas like slutty, peroxide-addled retirement condo lady!
I imagine most people would find these a little stark for the holidays, but I think they’re sexy! By DesignAtelierArticle
Speaking of sexy, Georgia O’Keefe would have loved this (if you catch my meaning) (and I think you do)
Nailed it!
Breathtaking! These are good enough to hang all year! By Lolashiddentreasures
Walk-of-shame fairies are a long-standing Vegas tradition. Ask anyone.
Share:
My OBT 
December 14, 2017 at 7:19 am
The dragonflies are nice aren’t they? and the metal houses
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 14, 2017 at 8:15 am
I love those!
LikeLike
December 14, 2017 at 8:52 am
You have done it again, Donna 😀
LikeLiked by 2 people
December 14, 2017 at 10:18 am
You’re too nice to me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 14, 2017 at 9:26 am
Ummmm…I’m left rather speechless. Santa “straight on” made me scream a little…much like a few of the other designs. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 14, 2017 at 10:18 am
A couple of them made me scream a lot!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 14, 2017 at 10:55 am
Still smiling at your comments–Draco Malfoy as an angel, indeed! Thanks for finding these. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 14, 2017 at 10:58 am
Glad you enjoyed them!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 14, 2017 at 4:05 pm
What is with the ugly fairy/angel things? Is this the new Christmas decor trend? I love those tin lanterns. I could quite happily have a whole village of those.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 15, 2017 at 12:01 am
Me, too! The ugly fairy angel things disturb me. If I were to encounter something that looked like that in real life, I’d stab first, ask questions later.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 14, 2017 at 7:16 pm
Oh my. I might have nightmares. I think the baby duck face with “disco eye shadow” Is my favorite slash scariest! Though the “Draco Malfoy Angel” (Who woulda thunk those three words would be in the same sentence?) Is my second favorite! Also that had me dying at how you labelled it! 🙂 ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 15, 2017 at 12:02 am
Thank you. I knew it reminded me of someone, but it took me a few weird searches to figure out who. (“albino movie characters” turned up some interesting options)
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 15, 2017 at 2:32 pm
Bwahahaha omg I just spat out my coffee. That is one search I haven’t done but might need too lol. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 15, 2017 at 8:31 am
Georgia O’Keefe insists her seashells are simply seashells.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 15, 2017 at 10:38 am
Georgia O’Keefe was kidding herself.
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 15, 2017 at 10:37 am
Ah, Etsy. Such beautiful things……and such awful horrible sludge. And that Georgia O’Keefe conch! hahahahahaha
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 15, 2017 at 10:39 am
Beauty and Sludge definitely sums it up!
LikeLike
December 16, 2017 at 5:30 pm
Laughing out loud at your captions! Merry Christmas, Donna!
LikeLiked by 1 person
December 16, 2017 at 5:31 pm
Thank you, doll! You, too!
LikeLike