Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Today’s topic reminds me of my mother. On evenings when she and my father were going out to a party or a show, I used to love watching her get ready. It felt like she was creating art. The dress, the shoes, the wrap, the bag, and finally the jewels, her process of choosing her adornment for the evening was one of my earliest favorite rituals. I can’t see a dressing table or a vanity set without getting flashbacks to those happy hours.

But though I love antique vanities and many of the lady-like gew-gaws that go along with them, I also suffer from an instinctive horror of overly-fussy, gratuitously-precious, twee twaddle. And Etsy, of course, provides all of the above, as well as some surprisingly weird and ugly offerings to boot.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!