Etsomnia™ 186: Prom Season

June 7, 2018 by Donna from MyOBT 18 Comments

You know if you put a bow on it, the boys are just going to try to unwrap it. Maybe.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

I haven’t done an Etsomnia™ piece about prom in a few years, so it seemed like it was time. Prom has long been one of those wonderful, terrible traditions that bring out both the best of fashion and the worst of it. There’s no easier way to determine a person’s vintage than by getting a look at their prom photos. They’re typically a perfect snapshot of the era in which they were held. Why do teens try so hard to be fashionable? Don’t they know that years later, when their children inevitably get a hold of the pictures, the classics will be infinitely less embarrassing?

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

“Not your daddy’s camo.” That’s true. My father rarely goes strapless. He hasn’t got the arms for it.

Etsy makers have to quit using ‘Bohemian’ as an excuse to stick ugly shit together.

While it’s a big much for prom, I can’t help but admire this Victorian-style gown by SecretTimes

I feel like this was worn by the ugly girl in Romy & Michelle’s High School Reunion.

Unless you’re attending a prom at a clown college, this “romantic” skirt is a hard no.

YOUNG LADY, YOU MARCH RIGHT BACK UP THOSE STAIRS AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!!!

If fathers of teenage girls were designing prom dresses…

So good, it’s giving me the vapors! By OvedCohen

The description suggests this ruffled jabot would be a fun replacement for a bow tie on a young man. I love the idea, but I hope it comes with a bodyguard.

Here’s a first. Looks like a dress with a skin disease.

These awful things were very popular in the ’70s and ’80s. We called them “Gunne Sux.”

Wowie! By AzAcCouture

Q: Are you too hot, or too cold?
A: Yes.

I know that many prom experiences end in tears, but that’s no excuse to dress like a crumpled tissue.

Now THIS is how you do matching outfits! By StylesAfrikDesigns

On the bright side, she’s not going to come home more pregnant…

And finally, what prom look would be complete without a hideous wrist corsage? You, like me, may have thought this terrible tradition was over, but nope. Still happening.