
But he can’t talk to girls in real life.
He addresses a picture
Of his buddy’s sister.
(That’s what they did before Skype.)
—Wendy Hyrkas, De Pere, Wisconsin


From the Composted Dreams tour by the Department of Sanitation garage band The Garbologists.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. Continue reading →