DICTIONARY, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.
Monthly Archives: July 2014
Wordless Wednesday, Sort Of
Becky says things about … being a rubbish woman
I do not reblog often, so you know this is something special.
I couldn’t have loved this post more. I suspect Becky and I are very similar. While it’s true that I’m a glad hand with a makeup brush and my hair goes all mermaidy on its own just to be agreeable, I am also a tragic klutz and in denial about the last 100 pounds I acquired (in weight, not wealth). I, too, fall, blunder, break, spill, and set afire. It’s just when I do those things, I leave a pretty smear of makeup behind like a calling card. I’m like fat Barbie after an hour of spinning around in the back yard.
Anyway, enjoy the perfectly funny and self deprecating Becky who, it turns out, says things.
Firstly, I’m going to neatly gloss over the fact I haven’t blogged in nearly two months by using Stickman’s yoga skills as a distraction.
Thanks, Sticky. You’re a pal.
Sublime listeners, I am rubbish at being a woman. There are so many things that society expects of women that are simply beyond my capabilities as a human being with boobs.
I cannot style my hair. I think I have the wrong type of hair. I think my hair is broken. I am forever gazing enviously at women with whimsical corkscrew curls, with sleek businesslike ‘up-dos’, with fringes that sit happily at their allocated angle, with pins and clips and grips that create veritable fountains of coiffured abandon – whilst I sit under the humdrum melancholy of a frizzy ponytail.
I have tried, Listener. I have followed YouTube videos to the letter, I have bought contraptions and equipment more reminiscent of open heart surgery…
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How does an artist like this get started? Continue reading
The Other Angry Inch
Meet Iain Armitage. Continue reading
I Won a Very Inspiring Blogger Award!
It’s an honor to be nominated . . . twice! Continue reading
Pretty Painted People
It’s turned out to be a body art kind of week. Continue reading
Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia the tattooed lady
She has eyes that men adore so
And a torso even more so
Lydia, oh Lydia, that en-cy-clo-pedia
Lydia, the queen of tattoo
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo
Beside it the Wreck of the Hesperus, too
And proudly above waves the red, white and blue
You can learn a lot from Lydia!
– Harold Arlen
But what does it have to do with French girls?
Etsomnia™ VI: The Wee Edition
Et·som·ni·a /etˈsämnēə/ noun. 1. A sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Wee /wē/adjective. 1. Little
Forgotten New York (With Special Guest Star Typhoid Mary)
We are lucky enough to live in Broad Channel Continue reading
“Give me a piece of your skin, & I’ll give you a piece of my soul.” -Jay Freestyle
*Misspelling intentional Continue reading
World’s Biggest Paper Doll
“Brevity is the Soul of Lingerie.” – Dorothy Parker
Exit, Stage Left
I just heard that my idol, Elaine Stritch, has died. I thought I would repost my piece about her. Farewell, Elaine! You will be missed!
“I will not make one mistake tonight in my lyrics, Mr. Coward. [Pause.] What’s your first name?”
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Fashion Isn’t Pretty
Feels Like the Home I Left
<sigh> Continue reading
Extra Girlie Bonus Post – Elie Saab Couture Fall 2014
Marchesa and Carolina Herrera will now have to share my affections with Lebanese fashion designer, Elie Saab. Continue reading