My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?


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Etsomnia™ 234: Unicorny

Bedazzled beer belly unicorn mermaid. (Is anyone else feeling queasy?)

Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

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Etsomnia™ 233: Pull the Other One

If I needed anything from that top drawer, I think I’d just go buy a new one.

Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

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Etsomnia™ 232: Dog Crazy

This photo accompanies a dog stress remedy. I am tempted to write to them to suggest they rename the product “Ruff-ees.”

Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

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Etsomnia™ 231: British Invasion

He seems like less of a Beefeater and more of a Gindrinker.

Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

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Etsomnia™ 230: Not My Tribe

When scientists examined members of the obscure Scoliosis Tribe of Austin, TX, to learn why they are unable to lift their heads, they discovered the subjects’ skulls to be full of incense, rocks, and hair. This also explains the tribe’s poor fashion choices.

Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading


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Etsomnia™ 229: Bargain Basement

Goodbye, Kitty.

Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

Continue reading