WANTED: Gay best friend for fun and fashion advice, ASAP.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
2/25/16: I love fashion. Truly. Love. But bad fashion can make me madder than almost anything else. So when I went to Etsy to look for a little black dress (LBD to those in the know), the atrocities that popped up clearly deserved their own post. I (mistakenly) thought that “How bad could black dresses be?” Sometimes, I’m a total dummy.
As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.
I don’t know why it works, but hubba hubba! By FloAtelier
No surprises here. Your basic Etsy failure. It’s bad news for my sanity that things like this are starting to seem to me like business as usual.
When putting together your (ugly) LBD ensemble, don’t forget to accessorize with droopy men’s socks. It will drive the boys wild!
And this is why you should always wear your glasses when adopting a pet. Your house cat may turn out to be a cougar.
I’m not gonna lie. As goofy as the dress is, it’s the pose that convinced me to include this one. Impressive feet!
When dressing to impress, it’s always a good idea to make your arms look as hairy as possible.
No matter how hard the designer tries, garbage bag couture just doesn’t catch on
Wowie! By xiaolizi
Now, why would you take a perfectly good dress and glue stupid shit to it? Why? Etsy. That’s why.
Look at this gorgeous… Nope. I tried, but I couldn’t keep a straight face.
I’m sure somewhere out there is someone with a slutty skater fetish.
Although I have had fun with this designer’s poses before, I have to give it to her. The dress is great!
Looks like somebody just fell off the ruffle truck.
Does anyone else feel a draft?
“Fluffy crying monster bodycon dress.” I am pretty sure those concepts cancel each other out.
M-I-C…K-E-Y… Why? Because it’s Etsy! M-O-U-S-E!!!!
I’m a sucker for a good vintage dress, and this beauty from the fifties is a doozie! By PickledVintage (who no longer sell on Etsy)
Looks like someone has been rummaging around in the sewing room garbage again.
“Hot Black Mini” dress mess.
“Sex In The City Carrie Style” dress. Were we watching the same show?
I wanted to make a joke about Morticia Gomez, but I just can’t do it. This dress is just too fabulous! By AdelePierri (who have also left Etsy)
When rabbit youngsters misbehave, their parents tell them terrifying tales of the seller and what she does to bad little bunnies
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