What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume XXI: Hold that Pose!


pose 0et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.

During my Etsy travels, I have come across a number of poses that struck me as especially hilarious. In fact, I mentioned in Etsomnia™ Volume XIV: Knit-Wits that the nutty poses I came across were inspiring me to write a new episode dedicated to such bizarre and hilarious photos.

Therefore, this week’s Etsy tribute is dedicated to the models! To those awkward, uncomfortable, wonderfully unselfconscious people, and and their adorable whole-hearted commitment to the bit.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

". . . press yourself up against the balloons . . . now adjust your thong . . . right arm vaguely over your head . . . perfect!"

“. . . turn toward me . . . right arm vaguely over your head . . . look like you smell something bad . . . now adjust your thong . . .perfect!”

pose 9a

I get that this is a fairly difficult yoga pose, but it doesn’t make me want to buy the pants. It just makes them look like they’ve already been farted in.

pose 2

Ladies and gentlemen, the Uni(corn) Bomber

Maybe if we all pose together, it will seem like a normal thing . . .

Maybe if we all pose together, and throw a banner at the bottom, it won’t seem weird . . .

pose 8a

This looks to me like Michael Berryman in a dress made of the scalps of his victims (to be fair, I hear he is a lovely man in spite of his terrifying looks)

pose 00

Marvin the Martian’s great grandmother, Marlene. (Not a vintage picture, by the way)

pose 12

In case it wasn’t immediately apparent, the listing was for the bracelets.


Whatever she’s looking at, she seems quite pleased with it. It must be something out of frame, because I don’t see anything worth getting that excited about.

pose 10a

Nobody puts Hipster Barbie in the corner!

pose 10

Please ignore Chernobyl behind me and look at the flowers!

“We’re trying to expand into the lady wrestler market, so try to twist off her head.”

pose 1

“Okay, now slide your right leg back . . . more . . . more . . . good. . . now right hand on hip . . . twist back toward me . . . left hand scratching your scalp . . . harder . . . good . . . now DUCKFACE”

pose 5b

The caption should be “Take the fucking picture already.”

A little advice: When trying to take a picture of yourself wearing the items for sale, either use a mirror or get a friend to help you. And you'll have an easier time selling this as coming from a "smoke free home" if you're not actually smoking in the picture.

A little advice: When trying to take a picture of yourself wearing the items for sale, either use a mirror or phone a friend. Also, it’s hard to convince people your items come from a “smoke free home” when you’re smoking in the picture.

pose 4

If you’re going to sit like this, it’s always a good idea to keep your face covered.

pose 3

Finally, a model you can fold up and store in the overhead compartment!

pose 2a

In the animal world, this is known as “presenting.” (B.T.W., I have those shoes.)

Attempts at artiness are always entertaining.

Who does depression hurt?

Even without a head, she looks bored.

Even without a head, she looks bored. And who can blame her? She’s dressed as Raggedy Ann minus the pinafore.

At least she's happy. I can confirm from the other pictures that she does, in fact, have two legs.

I am pleased to report that, according to the other pictures, she does, in fact, have at least one more leg.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

25 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XXI: Hold that Pose!

  1. Laughing so hard I am counting this post as aerobic exercise. Barbie and Chernobyl observations were standouts among all the winners.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. every week you have me cracking up at these!! Love it! Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. These made my day, and I must start exploring this world of Etsy as there seems to be evidence of life from other planets here. I’m going to give these people some serious props, though, for they must truly not give a thought to what other people think of them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am more entertained by wandering around Etsy than on any other website. There’s no end to the wonders you can find there. And even though I’m pretty hard on them, I did nearly all my Christmas shopping on Etsy this year, so it’s not a complete waste of time!


  4. oh my gosh, i may have just peed my pants reading this. highlight of my week!


  5. I laughed and I laughed. I really can’t say more than that. I don’t need to say more than that. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. The last four left me laughing out loud. Goodness.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is awesome, but honey, Michael Berryman is still with us! 🙂


  8. This literally made me laugh out loud (my co-workers must think I’m a loon now!) What a wonderfully curated collection of some of etsy’s most eclectic products and models + your captions are a work of art in and of themself!


  9. Pingback: Etsomnia™ XLII: WTF Again | My OBT

  10. Pingback: Etsomnia™ Volume 79: LBD | My OBT

  11. Pingback: Etsomnia™ 117: Hold That Pose 2 | My OBT

  12. LOL…”Now duckface!” is the one that got me!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: Etsomnia™ Volume XIV: Knit-Wits | My OBT

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