My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?


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Etsomnia™ 350: Ugly

Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.

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Repost: Etsomnia™ Volume XX: Bad Gift Edition

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Nightmare-inducing clown decanter. The seller calls it a “Great Christmas Gift”

et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.

“Thanks, I’d rather just have coal.”

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Repost: Etsomnia™ Volume XIII: Fancy Dress Party!

When it comes to costumes, there’s no excuse for lazy.

et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.

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Repost: Etsomnia™ Volume 66: Eighties Forever!

 

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Vintage Go-Go’s photo by BonanzaRecords

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Repost: Etsomnia™ Volume XXXVI: Picture This

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Repost: Etsomnia™ Volume VIII: Lifestyles of the Rich and Tasteless

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Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 111: Sweater Weather

"Upcycled" sweater. I just upcycled a little in my mouth.

The upcyclers are at it again. I think I just upcycled a little in my mouth.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ 96: Short Story

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If crocheted shorts are actually becoming a thing, I’m moving to Antartica where no shorts are worn until the siege passes.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 89: Bringing Up Baby

This is intended as a baby shower gift. My daughter once shat herself so hard, it shot up the back of her diaper and hit her in the head. The cleanup is a blur, but I'm pretty sure I didn't stop to form bunny ears with it first. By FimoAlive

Story time: My daughter once loaded up her diaper so enthusiastically, poop shot up her back and bounced off her head. Mercifully, the cleanup is a blur (at one point we were both in the bathtub crying), but I’m sure I didn’t stop to shape the stuff into bunny ears.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only.  Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.

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Etsomnia™ Volume 83: Let’s Get Physical

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 82: When Irish Eyes are Smirking

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

“May Siri be able to decipher your slurred requests for bar locations this St. Patrick’s Day.”
-SomeECards

“And may you not throw up in your Uber.” -Me

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Etsomnia™ Volume 80: Head Bored

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 79: LBD

By KnittingbyScarlatto

WANTED: Gay best friend for fun and fashion advice, ASAP.

 

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 78: Fun With Felt

This is listed as a crib mobile, but I’d hesitate to hang it in a baby’s room. It poses a gagging hazard.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 77: Table Talk

I rashly assumed that Etsy's characteristic derp quotient wouldn't extend itself to furniture. Boy, was I wrong. By woodwithheart

I rashly assumed that Etsy’s characteristic derp quotient wouldn’t extend itself to furniture. Boy, was I wrong. 


 

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 74: Panic at the Disco

As with most other categories I've explored, it seems the key to Etsy style is just sticking things to other things. "Bodycon" dress by IncogneetoVintage

As with most other categories I’ve explored, it seems the key to Etsy style is just sticking things to other things. This winner is described as a “Body con” dress

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 73: Get Stuffed

"Zombie Taco Dog" by BethDeathHorrorDolls. Browse the rest of her store at your own peril

“Zombie Taco Hell Dog” by BethDeathHorrorDolls. I loved her Etsy shop, which is definitely not for the faint of heart. Browse the rest of her store at your own peril, but don’t say I didn’t warn you

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 72: Cold Comfort

This is listed as a catsuit. Somebody needs to put that cat on a diet. By Strickolino (And I assume the garbage bag backdrop means kitty's not housebroken)

They call this a catsuit. If that’s so, I assume it’s this cat they’re thinking of. (And I imagine the garbage bag backdrop means kitty’s not housebroken)

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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Etsomnia™ Volume 67: Happy Horrid-Days

Super-absorbent Lightdays® Christmas tree – now with wings!

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

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