Please Hate These Things
Tag Archives: ugly
Etsomnia™ Volume 111: Sweater Weather
The upcyclers are at it again. I think I just upcycled a little in my mouth.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ 96: Short Story
If crocheted shorts are actually becoming a thing, I’m moving to Antartica where no shorts are worn until the siege passes.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 89: Bringing Up Baby
Story time: My daughter once loaded up her diaper so enthusiastically, poop shot up her back and bounced off her head. Mercifully, the cleanup is a blur (at one point we were both in the bathtub crying), but I’m sure I didn’t stop to shape the stuff into bunny ears.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
DISCLAIMER: Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia™ is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only. Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.
Etsomnia™ Volume 83: Let’s Get Physical
Word. By PurebredFitness
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 82: When Irish Eyes are Smirking
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
“May Siri be able to decipher your slurred requests for bar locations this St. Patrick’s Day.”
-SomeECards“And may you not throw up in your Uber.” -Me
Etsomnia™ Volume 80: Head Bored
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 79: LBD
WANTED: Gay best friend for fun and fashion advice, ASAP.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 78: Fun With Felt
This is listed as a crib mobile, but I’d hesitate to hang it in a baby’s room. It poses a gagging hazard.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 77: Table Talk
I rashly assumed that Etsy’s characteristic derp quotient wouldn’t extend itself to furniture. Boy, was I wrong.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 74: Panic at the Disco
As with most other categories I’ve explored, it seems the key to Etsy style is just sticking things to other things. This winner is described as a “Body con” dress
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 73: Get Stuffed
“Zombie Taco Hell Dog” by BethDeathHorrorDolls. I loved her Etsy shop, which is definitely not for the faint of heart. Browse the rest of her store at your own peril, but don’t say I didn’t warn you
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 72: Cold Comfort
They call this a catsuit. If that’s so, I assume it’s this cat they’re thinking of. (And I imagine the garbage bag backdrop means kitty’s not housebroken)
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 67: Happy Horrid-Days
Super-absorbent Lightdays® Christmas tree – now with wings!
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 66: Eighties Forever!
Vintage Go-Go’s photo by BonanzaRecords
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 65: Cats, Now and Forever
This ugly Christmas sweater is so aggressively ironic, it’s no longer sure if it’s joking.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 58: Happy Anniversary?
Lost-in-translation doge meme anniversary card. By TinyBeeCards
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 57: Gimme Some Skin
Ruched metallic leather. . . something. It wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the giant flower. And the fact that it needs to be plugged in at night.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 56: Shoe Envy
Oh, Etsy, you complete me.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
Etsomnia™ Volume 55: Back-to-School
This is an apple sweater. Not for your Apple products. For an actual apple.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
