Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
One of my kind readers mentioned that she’d been headboard-less for years, but she was considering one of the headboards I featured in my post about MadeByWoodhand. It got me thinking about what wondrous items Etsy could cough up, so here we are! I am a bit bummed to report that much of what I found was creative and wonderful or at least not quite awful enough to be worthy of Etsomnia™. The reclaimed wood offerings were particularly toothsome. But don’t worry, I still found a few items with which we can have some good-natured fun.
As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

I was all set to expound on the perils of snuggling up to lead paint until I realized it was a decal. Disappointing.

It’s hard to compete with the headboards featured last week, but this one is definitely a contender! By VagabondWest

This would be great in a teenage boy’s room. It would be a nice accompaniment to the inevitable dirty sock smell. By fringe21

Hand-knitted headboard, or, as I like to call it, dust mite farm.

Surfboard as headboard. Love it! By SerendipitySurfShop

Here’s something for the dog lovers.

Pickup truck bed. I see what Tailgatecustom did there!

I’ll bet Malificent had one just like it growing up! By MariasIdeasArt

What kind of dreams would you have if your bed was decorated with a horse with back problems?

So adorable! Want! By CastawaysHall

Remember back when you didn’t know that macrame headboards were a thing? Remember how nice that was?

If you walk into someone’s bedroom and spot this thing, run. He’s way too high maintenance for you.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES! By PaddlesOarsAndMore

Turns out the horse people are to beds what the cat people are to everything else.

I love the reclaimed wood next to the steel! So sexy! By DesertShedDesign

Good grief, are those monkeys??? Sold by MIDMODTROPICAL, who are very good sports!

Scary movie plot: After murdering a bunch of ugly bath mats, an Etsy seller cuts them up and sews them together to make a terrifying bath mat headboard. The horror!

Way out of my budget, but at least I can afford to feast my eyes! By MattDownerDesigns

This may looks like a random collection of fabric scraps tied together, but according to the designer, it’s a “boho headboard.” Leave it to Etsy.

Another signature Etsy maneuver – unattractive AND itchy!

Interesting! I would find the colors a bit jarring for a bedroom, but in the right mid-century modern guest room, it would be really stylish. By AntiquatedRevolution

Another knitted headboard. The good news is that according to the description, it cannot be duplicated. That’s comforting.
March 3, 2016 at 8:54 am
Very cool. Yet more inspiration for my photo blog. this has inspired #136 scheduled for the 13th! Thank you!
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March 3, 2016 at 9:28 am
That’s exciting!
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March 3, 2016 at 12:21 pm
When I finally face the task of dragging my 1970s horror of a bedroom into the 21st century, I will be in the market for a headboard. Now I know to avoid anything made by people who love horses or are into yarn. I do really like that wood and steel one though.
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March 3, 2016 at 12:29 pm
That’s my fave, too. Yummy!
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March 3, 2016 at 12:46 pm
“Dust mite farm” :::Snicker::: I love the headboard with the waves, it would be perfect for a beach house. So now I need that headboard and then I will need a beach house to put it in. Give a mouse a cookie….
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March 3, 2016 at 1:18 pm
It’s a slippery slope, alright!
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March 3, 2016 at 2:35 pm
Now you’ve made the choice harder, Donna.
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March 3, 2016 at 4:40 pm
March 3, 2016 at 5:01 pm
What’s with all the wall art trying to pass itself off as a headboard??? (I know; I should have written “wall ‘art’ “) But isn’t a headboard by definition something solid you can rest your head on? You don’t fool me, ugly fabric pieces!!!
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March 3, 2016 at 5:49 pm
You’re too smart for them!
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March 4, 2016 at 3:03 pm
Nice mix of headboards, some great, some not so great.
I’d like to point out that my mid century style headboard has a padded marine vinyl insert framed with black walnut. It’s made for comfort and ease of cleaning first, style second. You also get the choice of vinyl color to make it less “jarring”.
Enjoyed the post!
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March 4, 2016 at 3:41 pm
I love that one! Thanks very much for the visit!
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Pingback: #136 Bed – You Inspire Me
June 3, 2016 at 4:29 pm
I find this very offensive. Berating artists for fun? Don’t you have anything better to do?
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June 3, 2016 at 4:46 pm
I’m sorry you’re offended. I really am. But critique and satire have been around as long as art has. Have you ever laughed at “People of Walmart” or “Awkward Family Photos?” This is the same idea.
I am not without a conscience. Though I do enjoy a good joke, and Etsomnia is one of my favorite things, my intention is never to discourage artists or makers of any kind. All wisecracks and criticism are meant for humorous effect only. Please take them as seriously as they are meant, which is not at all.
I am sorry we see this differently. I hope you have a good weekend.
P.S. I want to thank you for your comment. It’s convinced me to go back and start removing the names of sellers at whose items I am making fun. That seems fair. It’s going to take me some time, but I think it’s a worthwhile effort.
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