What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume 82: When Irish Eyes are Smirking


Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

“May Siri be able to decipher your slurred requests for bar locations this St. Patrick’s Day.”

“And may you not throw up in your Uber.” -Me

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Whether you are part Irish or are, like me, Celt-deficient, you can’t help but be inundated by the wearing of, decorating with, and general waving about of the green. (Unless you’re in the non-touristy parts of Ireland, where it’s a religious holiday rather than an excuse for public debauchery.) I thought today, we’d explore the items advertised on Etsy as being related to St. Pat’s Day, from the clever to the (Etsy) predictable to the unexpected to the inexplicable.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

I'm pretty sure I know this guy. By SimplyCollectible

Ladies, guard your Lucky Charms. Baby Conan’s coming for you. By SimplyCollectible

Happy St. Patrick's Day! Here's a crusty painting! By OriginalsbyParis

This crusty shamrock oil painting is $110. I suspect the artist may paint (and price) drunk

I searched for Irish sweater, and this happened. I assume she got drunk and people glued garbage to her. By WearMeOutTonight

I searched for Irish sweater, and this happened. Apparently where she lives, when you pass out after a night of revelry, people glue garbage to you. 

Who knew the Amish celebrated St. Patty's Day? By LocaLolaRetro

Who knew the Amish celebrated St. Patty’s Day? 

This is a vest for a lawn moose. I know, but that's what it says. By Countrypainting

St. Pat’s Day vest for your lawn moose. What’s that? You don’t have a lawn moose? I can’t imagine why not. 

Haven't these people ever heard of vodka? By CountryWorkshop

I applaud the sentiment, but they’re forgetting about the restorative powers of vodka and cake. By CountryWorkshop

I swear to you this guy lives two doors down from me. He goes to jail on the weekends. Great guy. By EmilysCraftys

Like the vampires that walk among us undisguised on Halloween, on St. Patty’s Day, the Town Drunk is free to stagger about, letting his fuddled flag fly. By EmilysCraftys

Well, that's one way to meet guys. By MiniHatsbyADO

Well, that’s one way to meet guys. Here’s another (with apologies to St. Patrick.) 

St. Patrick's Day is so infectious, even the Grim Reaper gets in the spirit! By EnchantedGround

St. Patrick’s Day is so infectious, even the Grim Reaper gets in the spirit! 

This is a, um… It’s for your, er… It’s to wear under your kilt. “Perfect for showing your Irish pride.” 

(who does he look like? a gay Armand Asanti) By LandofBridget

Nothing says St. Patrick like a swishy Armand Assante doll wearing… whatever this is. 

Not at all what I expected a Hollywood weiner to look like. By DownUnderDogDesigns

Now, here’s a green-clad wiener I can get behind! 
By DownUnderDogDesigns

St. Patrick's Day, when even the rats are Irish. By PenelopesClosets

St. Patrick’s Day, when even the rats are Irish. By PenelopesClosets

This is a refreshing alternative to the endless "Kiss Me, I'm Irish" wear. By TeesAndTankYouShop

This is a refreshing alternative to the endless “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” wear. By TeesAndTankYouShop

Tiny, adorable, AND Irish? I'm in! By ValueARTifacts

The perfect place to go for a wee drinkie! By ValueARTifacts

Beard embellishments. I thought that's what crumbs were for? By Beardaments

Shamrock beard embellishments. What a great way to distract from the food in your beard! By Beardaments

In case it isn't immediately apparent, that is a top hat on top of another top hat. And a load of other crap, too. By AddiMaesBowtique

Top hat with shamrocks, hearts, feathers, rainbows, fur balls, gold coins, a Care Bear, and even another tiny top hat. It’s like a St. Patrick’s Day hat for hoarders.  

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

15 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume 82: When Irish Eyes are Smirking

  1. Back up: Armand Assante doll?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That sweater -shudder- I mean, the poor thing has had so much booze spilled on it that it’s actually drunk…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. the beard embellishments, definitely!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You have outdone yourself, Donna. There is not a single remotely passable item in your Etsomnia post this week. They are all utterly and entirely gross and crappy. The banner of leprechaun laundry in your introduction is cute and I like the wit of the Gaelic t-shirt but all the actual featured items are completely horrid. I don’t have even a sliver of Irish to me so we don’t do St Patrick’s Day. This post makes me relieved that is the case.


  5. I’d say you left me speechless, but actually my comment about reaching for my people’s Scotch whiskey didn’t appear . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Those unfortunate models though…. Both human and canine. so sad.

    Liked by 1 person

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