My OBT

My daily quest for One Beautiful Thing (OBT)

Etsomnia™ Volume 79: LBD

17 Comments

By KnittingbyScarlatto

WANTED: Gay best friend for fun and fashion advice, ASAP.

 

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

I love fashion. Truly. Love. But bad fashion can make me madder than almost anything else. So when I went to Etsy to look for a little black dress (LBD to those in the know), the atrocities that popped up clearly deserved their own post. I (mistakenly) thought that “How bad could black dresses be?” Sometimes, I’m a total dummy.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

By FloAtelier

I don’t know why it works, but hubba hubba! By FloAtelier

By BlackRainCouture

No surprises here. Your basic Etsy failure. It’s bad news for my sanity that things like this are starting to seem to me like business as usual.

By TangensDesigns

When putting together your (ugly) LBD ensemble, don’t forget to accessorize with droopy men’s socks. It will drive the boys wild!

And this is why you should always wear your glasses when adopting a pet. Your house cat may turn out to be a cougar.

I'm not gonna lie. As goofy as the dress is, it's the pose that convinced me to include this one. Impressive feet! By CrudeThings

I’m not gonna lie. As goofy as the dress is, it’s the pose that convinced me to include this one. Impressive feet!

Weirdly hairy-looking sleeves. By TatianaAndrade0

When dressing to impress, it’s always a good idea to make your arms look as hairy as possible.

No matter how hard the designer tries, garbage bag couture just doesn’t catch on

By xiaolizi

Wowie! By xiaolizi

Now, why would you take a perfectly good dress and glue stupid shit to it? Why? By Classyorsassy

Now, why would you take a perfectly good dress and glue stupid shit to it? Why? Etsy. That’s why.

Look at this gorgeous... Nope. I tried, but I couldn't keep a straight face. By CourtneySamone

Look at this gorgeous… Nope. I tried, but I couldn’t keep a straight face.

Slutty skater dress. By NishKollection

I’m sure somewhere out there is someone with a slutty skater fetish.

I have had fun at the expense of LenaQuistDesign before, but I have to give it to her. This dress is great

Although I have had fun with this designer’s poses before, I have to give it to her. The dress is great!

Looks like someone's first experiment with ruffles. By RominaFashion

Looks like somebody just fell off the ruffle truck.

Does anyone else feel a draft? By sparklebraz

Does anyone else feel a draft?

"Fluffy crying monster bodycon dress." I can't even. By NeverMonday

“Fluffy crying monster bodycon dress.” I am pretty sure those concepts cancel each other out.

Does anyone else see Mickey Mouse? By ilove2shopMVT

M-I-C…K-E-Y… Why? Because it’s Etsy! M-O-U-S-E!!!!

 

Im a sucker for a good vintage dress, and this embroidered collar halter peplum dress is a doozie! By PickledVintage

I’m a sucker for a good vintage dress, and this beauty from the fifties is a doozie! By PickledVintage

Looks like someone has been rummaging around in the sewing room garbage again. By woolwarm

Looks like someone has been rummaging around in the sewing room garbage again.

By ByTessaDeBoer

“Hot Black Mini” dress mess.

"Sex In The City Carrie Style" dress. Were we watching the same show? By LoveGoddessBySebrina

“Sex In The City Carrie Style” dress. Were we watching the same show?

I want to make fun, but I just can't bring myself to. It's too fabulous! By AdelePierri

I wanted to make a joke about Morticia Gomez, but I just can’t do it. This dress is just too fabulous! By AdelePierri

When rabbit youngsters misbehave, their parents tell them terrifying tales of Suniq and what she does to bad little bunnies

When rabbit youngsters misbehave, their parents tell them terrifying tales of the seller and what she does to bad little bunnies

 

 

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

17 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume 79: LBD

  1. If I had to pick ONE to make a snarky comment on, I’d have to say that one would PRAY for a black rain when wearing that dress…

    Of course, once the snark starts – that cat-scratch fever dress wouldn’t be so horrible without the terminal distraction of all that zombie crap 😉

    Like

  2. The 1950s dress is superb. I don’t think it is a coincidence that it was made before Etsy existed. Also, as wretched as so many of those Frocky Horrors were, I also found myself reflecting on how crappy many of the photographs were.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I saw 3 real beauties in this mix; the dress on top by Flo Ateleir, the simple but cute top and skirt by Xiaolizi ( I can picture Audrey Hepburn wearing it), and the vintage stunner by Pickled Vintage (a peplum is so very feminine). I also saw some real uglies in this bunch…I was hoping that you would entertain us with the funny and the crazy, and you never disappoint. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There’s a certain Swintonesque quality to a couple of these. But only The Tilda could pull them off.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Some of these dresses, I just don’t know what to say. It’s like I’m coming in on the punchline of some joke I can’t imagine the setup for. You are a brave woman to expose yourself to these things on a regular basis for our benefit.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ah Etsy. Endless fun. And horror.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Wouldn’t it be great if we could take a tour of cities with terrible fashion taste and pick a winner

    Liked by 1 person

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