Give It a Rest

April 12, 2015 by Donna from MyOBT 34 Comments

As distressing as the big pointy bird canopy is, it’s the giant, scary bird feet that really freak me out.

“I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Currently, a number of my friends and relatives are looking for furniture, beds in particular. Of course, I can never resist the (obsessive) urge to try to find everyone exactly what they are looking for, so I’ve been hunting around for them. During my late-night searches, I have come across quite a few bizarre options, and not just on Etsy! I decided that like the post I wrote about chairs last year (“No, Thanks. I’ll Stand“), I had to share with you some of the more ridiculous beds I’ve encountered.

I guess if the parents have the bird bed, this wouldn't be an illogical bed for the kid's room.

I guess if the parents have the bird bed, this nest bed wouldn’t be an illogical choice for the kid’s room.

Balls! This bed/seating system is comprised of 120 foam balls which can be configured in a number of ways. At least it's not boring!

Balls! This bed/seating system is comprised of 120 foam balls which can be configured any way you like. I know it seems goofy, but if it’s good enough for Sir Patrick Stewart, it’s good enough for me!

This doesn’t look terribly stable, but I love it anyway. Makes me want to head out to Ruffle Bar and drag back the boat in my header!

This looks like something slept upon by a Disney princess. Alas, no. It's real. Can you imagine the spoiled brats that sleep on this thing?

Ack. More birds. This looks like something slept upon by a Disney princess, and I do not mean that as a compliment. Unfortunately, it’s real. Can you imagine the spoiled brat that sleeps on this thing?

Oh, Etsy. $45,000 will buy you this weird eyesore.

On my beloved Etsy, $45,000 will buy you this weird eyesore. I assume this is what hipsters with neckbeards and trust funds sleep on. (Don’t miss the possessed cat in the corner!)

I always thought the 'B' in 'BLT' was bacon.

A BLT (Bed, lettuce & tomato). I always thought the ‘B’ was bacon.

Sweet dreams . . .

Stainless steel and stained glass bed, which comes in many colors. Yes, please!

While I would likely smash it in my sleep, accidentally slit my own throat, and wake up dead, this stained glass bed is really beautiful to look at. From a safe distance, of course.

The standing bed. Because your feet don't hurt enough already.

The standing bed by Ernesto Neto. Because lying down just takes too long.

The modern bed of nails from Sweden allegedly cures everything “from schizophrenia to dandruff.” Sounds like snake oil to me.

The modern bed of nails from Sweden allegedly cures everything “from schizophrenia to dandruff.” Sounds legit.

New Rococo, favored by vampires everywhere.

This belongs in Goth Barbie’s Dream House, though I bet this guy would love it, too.

This one makes me feel all mermaidy!

Even if you slept in only this position, what happens when the alarm goes off or the phone rings?

What happens when the alarm goes off or your phone rings or someone is wearing leopard slippers?

This is a rocking bed. It actually looks very comfortable, and I think it's quite stylish, too. I include the picture because the designer only put out pictures of models on the bed wearing lampshades on their heads.

This is a rocking bed. It actually looks very comfortable, and I think it’s quite stylish, too. I couldn’t resist including the picture because the designer has a thing for models voluntarily wearing lampshades on their heads.