My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume 55: Back-to-School

19 Comments

This is an apple jacket. A jacket for your apple. I am serious. That's what it is. By HandmaidenBC, who has a store full of these things

This is an apple sweater. Not for your Apple products. For an actual apple. 

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

I was appalled to learn this week that some of my friends’ children have already returned to school, even though Labor Day isn’t until next week. Ugh. The end of summer always gets me down. Though I’m not a teacher and don’t have small children, I never outgrew the feeling that the commencement of the school year meant the end of fun. I have vivid memories of the feeling of dread I’d get as I watched that date approach.

The only thing that could cheer me up was the annual back-to-school shopping trip Mom and I would make. I still remember the thrill of new pencils and crayons and notebooks. Everything seemed so filled with optimism. These days, however, back to school seems to include some items my mother never dreamed of, at least if you believe Etsy.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts. Follow me on Bloglovin!

“Landscape” bookmark. If that looks like a landscape to her, where do you think she lives?

This pencil case listing has my favorite drop-down menu of all time.

Although apparently made of old, dingy sheets, this freaky pencil case listing has my favorite drop-down menu of all time. “How many eyes?” 

Cleavage. A great way to start the school year. By DekDoi

If there’s one thing your third grader needs to start off the school year right, it’s cleavage. 

Okay, fine. Painted creepy face. Kind of cool. But how do you explain the taco? By SquadronZ

Okay, fine. Painted creepy face. I can live with that. But how do you explain the taco? 

I remember fifth grade. This is not going to end well. By CreateMeaTshirt

I remember fifth grade. This is not going to end well. 

Poop pencil sharpener, guaranteed to

Poop pencil sharpener, guaranteed to “make your friends jealous.” That’s probably true, actually.

And now for the traditional back-to-school knitted snake... wait. What? By LadyLorienDesigns

And here’s your basic “Back-to-School Crocheted Bookworm.” That’s definitely not a thing, thank goodness. 

It's not your fault. She was probably going to get her ass kicked anyway. But by kindergartners? By MarmaladeClothing

Dear Parents, Your daughter Kale was beaten up at recess today. By kindergartners. We all cheered them on. 

OMG remember these?!? So fun! Now I want one. By TinyBees

OMG remember these?!? So fun! Now I want one. By TinyBees

Back-to-school doll with

Back-to-school doll with “sweet smile.” It’s reminding me of someone

While this is possibly the most lady-like pentagram backpack ever made, I still don’t recommend you send your daughter to Catholic school with it.

Chip and Skiffy were quite miffed that Mummy wouldn't let them take the Aston Martin for first day of school. What kind of impression is the stupid old Bentley going to make? By MimiiKids

Brick and Skiffy were quite incensed that Mumsy wouldn’t let Driver take them to school in the Maserati. They’d never be respected at boarding school once everyone saw them pulling up in a stupid old Bentley. 

Itchy-looking octopus backpack by CreepyLand. Look, I get it. They ruined your figure and your social life. But there are healthier ways to get back at your children.

Itchy-looking octopus backpack. Look, moms, I get it. They ruined your figure and your social life. But there are healthier ways to get back at your children.

I personally wouldn't eat anything that came out of this lunch bag. By Type7872

I personally wouldn’t eat anything that came out of this lunch bag, even if it did belong to someone famous

This is a hand sanitizer holder, and I am NOT going to make the obvious joke. Nope, not me. By HeartspunByWendy

This is a hand sanitizer holder, and I am NOT going to make the obvious joke. Nope, not me. 

C-3PO bookmark! C-3PO bookmark! I want a C-3PO bookmark! By MyBookmark

C-3PO bookmark! C-3PO bookmark! I want a C-3PO bookmark! By MyBookmark whose shop is full of wonderful things!

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

19 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume 55: Back-to-School

  1. I just wrote a rant on my blog the other day about back to school supply shopping. That’s a culture shock I’ve still not recovered from. Had I read your post first, it might have lifted my mood: I might have to buy 574 glue sticks but at least I don’t have a appliquéd book mark for my kids. At least two of my kids would love those little pastel colored sharpeners that I suspect are supposed to be reminiscent of cupcakes but which I think look like happy turds. I obviously need to share that octopus backpack with my brother. What I REALLY want, however, almost to the point of a need is that C3PO bookmark.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thebookmark got me, too. You should check out their other bookmarks as well. I’m sorry you have to buy supplies for your class. I never understood how it fell to teachers to cover those expenses. I have a friend who puts up a GoFundMe every year then shares it with her Facebook friends. She never mentions the name of the school to make sure she doesn’t run afoul of any school rules. It’s a small enough amount that she always makes her quota. Maybe you should consider that for next year. (But don’t forget to first find out if your school has policies against fundraising.) Good luck!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Your friend’s idea is a great one. It’s terrible that teachers have to use their own salaries to cover teaching materials. When I was teaching in Britain, I used my own funds for over and above resources and treats but not anywhere near to the extent that teachers do here. Thankfully I don’t have to deal with that yet as I’ve not returned to employment since emigrating. However, just buying all the requested supplies – from a million glue sticks through to Clorox wipes – for four kids made a huge dent in the piggy bank. I also donate extra so that teachers don’t have to cover any shortfall and to help out any kids whose parents can’t afford all the equipment.

        Liked by 1 person

      • It’s great that you donate extra to help out the less fortunate kids. Most people wouldn’t think of that!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well I like to think I would think to do it anyway but our school district prompts us to consider handing in extra items anyway.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. It does not go well when a parent creates something in their tastes for a child to wear to school, Donna. Ever. Unfortunately, it sometimes does not go well when a child creates something, either. Bring back one-colored T-shirts?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I still love back to school shopping. I just picked up college ruled notebook paper, Ticonderoga pencils, erasers, folders, and a grown-up version of the Trapper Keeper, and my kids are 27 and 24.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Some etsy stores should give you referral fees (Mybookmark)!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Without the middle eye, that weird pencil case would be a dead ring for Clarissa from Doctor Who.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hahaha I love your Etsomnis posts! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thank you. You made me laugh! I am just getting ready to set up an Etsy shop and it is sooooo good to know about the competition. My kids are groan (and I did mean to spell it that way as they are over 18 but under 21 so not quite as adult at they believe) but I still love to buy myself some back to school supplies. This year I bought some Dr. Ph. Martin’s watercolors and a whole stack of watercolor paper to make copies of the coloring pages that I copy onto it. Have a beautiful day!

    Liked by 1 person

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.