As seen on the Hoarders wedding episode, “Say Yes to the Mess!”
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
What is with so many Etsy seller’s obsession with sticking things to other things? Whether it’s dresses or art or hats or clipboards, these makers can’t seem to keep themselves from gluing, sewing, tying, or otherwise attaching everything to everything else. Sure sometimes it works, but that is the exception, not the rule. WARNING: this one’s going to sting a bit.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
Editor’s Note: My sister was at an event today with the CEO of Etsy and told him about Etsomnia™. Hi, Chad! I’m a big fan!
I thought, “It could be worse. It could have fur.” Then I found some.
I don’t pretend to understand it, but I can’t deny its appeal. By ChuckBrueckmann
How much do you want to bet she sleeps surrounded by these?
I’ll bet somebody’s not passing his drug test this week.
If you want to look like you know whassup, definitely hot glue plastic pearls to your headphones.
You have to hand it to Etsy makers. They can cram in more nope-per-inch than on any other shopping website I’ve ever seen.
There! Was that so hard? (Actually, I suspect it kind of was.) By the very talented PaintedWithButtons
No wonder bears shit in the woods.
That’s one way to keep bullies from stealing your kid’s lunch.
Sure, it can probably repel bullets, but I’ll bet it repels more than that.
This is a trash can. I thought the garbage was supposed to go on the inside?
I’ve heard of a monkey on your back, but this?
7 years bad luck? On the contrary. If you break this overly-fussy mirror, I think you should get a medal.
Because who needs peripheral vision anyway?
Reader caption time!
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My OBT 
November 17, 2016 at 10:02 am
I admit it, I’m now jonesing for that octopus hat. Beyond that, it’s clear that we need to limit the sale of buttons to certified users only. And I got nothing for that last one.
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November 17, 2016 at 11:38 am
I agree that the octopus hat, while hilarious, is also something I would thoroughly enjoy wearing!
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November 17, 2016 at 10:18 am
The only thing I can think when I look at that last one is “Get that thing off my head!” But “get that thing off me” sums up my response to most of them.
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November 17, 2016 at 11:39 am
I have a theory about that last hat. I suspect the chameleon climbed up there, was overwhelmed trying to match his surroundings, and perished trying.
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November 17, 2016 at 2:56 pm
This really was an overload of things that made me judder. Some people just do not know when to stop, do they? Keep on piling it on and hope the thing emerges from the ugly phase seems to be the maxim. The button art work is clever though.
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November 17, 2016 at 3:00 pm
Isn’t that button thing fantastic? She’s got some other really wonderful things in her shop, too. I know what you mean about piling it on. I, too, could be an Etsy seller. I’ll just take a random object, coat it in glue, and roll it around in the junk drawer.
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November 17, 2016 at 3:18 pm
Now you’ve given me a nifty idea as to how to clean out my husband’s “glory hole” drawer. And that is not a euphemism. Though I am sure Etsy also sells things that would help me out with that if it was.
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November 17, 2016 at 3:24 pm
I just spit applesauce onto my phone. This is going to be hard to explain at the Apple store.
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November 17, 2016 at 3:25 pm
Ha ha ha! Love it!
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November 17, 2016 at 7:02 pm
There’s an artist in Austin who used to make WONDERFUL sculptures out of wire and buttons. I love the button dress. The rest, not so much. Actually, the rest not at all. YEESH!
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November 17, 2016 at 10:43 pm
People get carried away. At least they’re keeping the glue industry going!
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November 18, 2016 at 12:41 pm
Oh, my! The saddest/funniest part of this post was that the “sting a bit” image carries the copyright symbol . . . that the “artist” felt the need to include that on the image was just too much!
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November 18, 2016 at 12:47 pm
I think she can relax. I don’t think there’s a good likelihood that her design will be stolen. I hope.
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