My cell phone doesn’t usually ring. I love that about it. Sure, people text me and FB message me and email me, but typically, I don’t have to actually answer the phone. I don’t know what changed, but over the last few weeks, I have received at least 50 scam phone calls. Clearly intended to frighten the uninformed and trick them out of their money, there have been voice recordings in Chinese (I’m assuming it’s Chinese) which I have learned threaten ICE action unless a payment is made, heavily-accented “IRS agents” insisting I would be arrested if I didn’t clear up an outstanding tax bill, callers informing me my mortgage is in pre-foreclosure, and obnoxiously perky congratulatory messages concerning my “sweepstakes winnings.” I’m about ready to throw my cell out a window.
Beloved and I are truly lucky people. We are legal citizens, we pay our bills on time, and we don’t have more outstanding debt than we can manage. But I can imagine how these calls could really frighten and confuse gullible or less-informed people in less fortunate circumstances. It makes my blood boil that these creeps make their living by preying upon the weak, and I tell them they are terrible people every chance I get.
This incessant phone spam (is it still spam if it’s on the phone?) put me in mind of a comic I’d seen a while back, so I went looking for him.
James Veitch is a British comic, and likely one of the best spam baiters in the world. He extracts revenge from internet scammers in really creative and funny ways, and he encourages his audience to do the same. He is an absolute wizard at getting under the skin of the would-be scammers who have the misfortune to cross his path.
“You are a total disgrace to manhood. Go f**k yourself.” Solomon Odokhah
Veitch is perhaps best known for his “Worst Roommate in the World” bit, which I think you will also enjoy.