Did you know there was a Woodstock in Connecticut? Me, neither! The way I found out is that one of my favorite Instagram accounts, @ForTheLoveOfOldHouses, posted this majestic/idiotic property, and I just had to share. For one thing, it is the complete antithesis of everything for which the other Woodstock stood, which I find hilarious. For another, this one has a weird, dark past which is part of the reason it’s been on and off the market since 2013.

Looking like something Disney coughed up, 450 Brickyard Road, Woodstock, CT is a 18,777 square foot, 9 bedroom/7 full bath/3 half bath monstrosity that sits on 75 acres and overlooks a pond. The 12 fireplaces, “bespoke” kitchen, and exotic hardwoods throughout are meant to help explain the asking price of $35,000,000. At $1,864 per square foot, that may seem high until you think about the fact that $35,000,000 only gets you 5,700 square feet in Manhattan. That’s $6,140 per square foot, in case you didn’t feel like doing the math. Sure, the Manhattan property has a doorman and a concierge, but where’s the moat?

My research turned up juicy details including the the death of a rescue camel and shower rooms “built to accommodate multiple people. The house was briefly listed as a modeling agency (which seemed like code for a whore house).

“According to a 2008 article in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette, a long-since taken down website called http://www.castle-models.com once advertised the home as an international modeling agency, with pictures of young women, listing their “ethnic look,” with measurements including tattoo and piercing counts, along with truly horrifying copy which read, “Just one look at the shapely form of beautiful women brings about physiological changes that our senses will not allow our minds to deceive, nor pretend does not exist. And with the laws of attraction in hand, comes desire, intrigue, and lust, which man has learned to exploit and sell as if it were a commodity.” The site listed a rate of $125 per hour to have one of these models do a photo shoot, with a minimum requirement of two hours.”

– Curbed article on owner Christopher Mark

You can check out the insane sales listing on the Randall Realtors’ website. And don’t miss the virtual tour.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @fortheloveofoldhouses