Etsom·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once in a while.
I have written about purses before, but today, I’m focused on clutch purses. I absolutely love clutches, and I carry them constantly. Even when I’m carrying my large work bag, I always have my important stuff tucked into a clutch inside. That way, if I pop out for a meal or need to pick up something quick, I can just grab it and go. I also have quite the collection of evening clutches, whose existence I justify because I loan them to anyone who needs them. So I had a lot of fun (and a lot of temptation) hunting for this edition of Etsomnia™.
Goofy/adorable french fries purse. By OdysseyBlvdYuck. I assume it’s part of thiscollection.Agate? Check. Heavenly shade of blue? Check. Super stylish? Check! By AmhaleDesignsInteresting, but should I buy one? AnswerA little gruesome, I know, but I kind of love it, plus I’ll bet it would keep the creeps away… By SesaMakesSome people have more money than sense. Happily, this thing is just $30, so you don’t need either!Now this one is an easy decision. YES! By BoeJackDesignsThis thing is listed as “Cleopatra’s woman clutch bag,” but I think if you carried it in public, you’d just be making an asp of yourself. (See what I did there?)Where was this beauty when I was doing the mermaid parade? By NandeetasYou know you’re ending the evening by throwing out the purse AND the outfit that now has 3,000 pulls in it.Just looking at this rainbow beaded bag is improving my mood. Imagine what carrying it could do for me! By VastraAvattarThis should serve as a warning to any murderous squirrels out there. This is so interesting! I could see it being really beautiful with a contrasting-colored suit. By VitroAtelierJust tell me why.I want to love it. I do. But all I can see is this.While I can’t see myself carrying it, I do find this little guy awfully cute. By RetroBagsClubI usually find goth stuff appealing, but this? This is too far.Oooh, yes, please! By VRStorybook, who has a wide variety of equally wonderful book clutchesThis “Posh” pom pom bag is the winner of this week’s Because Etsy prize.Q: What stinks? A: Your taste in fashion
That mermaid purse was made for you! There are some truly gorgeous clutches in this collection. I especially love the geode one, the one with the wooden handle, and the rainbow beaded one. And then some, of course, are just terrible. Even though I am Scottish, the one that looks like a sporran is most definitely a fail. You’d think that my coulrophobia would mean I’d pick that first clutch as the worst of the pick but I am actually going to select the fish head clutch as this week’s Loser-Winner because it is undoubtedly beautifully crafted and all of that stitching and beading was probably very time-consuming but conceptually it could have been made by Faberge and it would still be appalling.
Sorry, but, fishhead purse FTW. Not only will it horrify the sorts of people I absolutely don’t want to talk to me, it has an amazing self defense option as well. I don’t understand why ya’ll can’t see how versatile and useful this is lol….
We live in very different cities. It would have the opposite effect in NYC. Here, people would stop you on the street to tell you how [insert adjective] it is. I want people to talk to me LESS.
My OBT 
March 6, 2025 at 7:36 am
Oh, gosh. When they’re good, they’re very, very good, but when they’re bad…they’re awful. 😬
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March 6, 2025 at 5:37 pm
I love the awful ones!
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March 6, 2025 at 3:26 pm
That mermaid purse was made for you! There are some truly gorgeous clutches in this collection. I especially love the geode one, the one with the wooden handle, and the rainbow beaded one. And then some, of course, are just terrible. Even though I am Scottish, the one that looks like a sporran is most definitely a fail. You’d think that my coulrophobia would mean I’d pick that first clutch as the worst of the pick but I am actually going to select the fish head clutch as this week’s Loser-Winner because it is undoubtedly beautifully crafted and all of that stitching and beading was probably very time-consuming but conceptually it could have been made by Faberge and it would still be appalling.
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March 6, 2025 at 5:38 pm
Right? Bejeweled fish guts. Now I’ve seen everything!
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March 9, 2025 at 3:12 pm
The shell wrist clutch is lovely!
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March 10, 2025 at 10:12 am
Isn’t it? Such a graceful shape!
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March 11, 2025 at 12:04 pm
Sorry, but, fishhead purse FTW. Not only will it horrify the sorts of people I absolutely don’t want to talk to me, it has an amazing self defense option as well. I don’t understand why ya’ll can’t see how versatile and useful this is lol….
LikeLiked by 1 person
March 14, 2025 at 11:52 am
We live in very different cities. It would have the opposite effect in NYC. Here, people would stop you on the street to tell you how [insert adjective] it is. I want people to talk to me LESS.
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March 11, 2025 at 12:05 pm
SHIT, then I saw the price. Oh well.
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March 14, 2025 at 11:52 am
And that.
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