Love his Warby Porkers! By DesignByLMK
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
4/19/18: My Etsomnia inspirations come to me from many different sources. Sometimes, the week’s topic is inspired by something I’m trying to find for myself, sometimes it’s the season, sometimes it’s something I’ve seen online. But I confess that today’s was entirely inspired by the adorable pig print above (and the caption that instantly popped into my head). So here we are. Barnyard week? Sure. Why not?
Turns out as long as you like puns, farm folks are pretty funny. I encountered more dad jokes in the first couple of pages of search results than for any search I’ve ever done before. Some of the results were really impressive, and the rest mostly didn’t fulfill my worst fears about what goes on in farm country…
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
Described as “farm chic,” this hat taught me that I clearly don’t have a strong enough stomach for farm life.
The description calls them alpacas, but whatever they are, I wouldn’t feed them after midnight.
I need the city version! (No longer available, but here’s a doormat!
Yike. That’s not a lamb. THIS is a lamb!
I like jewelry as much as the next guy, but I have to draw the line somewhere.
I see what you did there! By NANUIllustration
No eggs for me, thanks. I’ve just this minute become a vegan…
This plush horse head really sends a message.
Vintage sheep shears which I initially mistook for a really awkward cookie cutter.
Is it odd that I live in NYC, but I want these? ByGardenMetalDecor
Not what I expected sheep balls to look like. Cute! By BondurantMountainArt
I get that when you live with farm animals, you will sometimes eat one of them, but wearing their bones as decoration is a bit too far for me.
Optimistically titled “Hey, good lookin!”
“Sexy” vintage pitchfork, presumably from the 50 Shades of Hay collection.
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My OBT 
November 9, 2025 at 9:37 am
You’re funny! I never visit the Etsy site, and having read your post, I definitely won’t be visiting any time soon, or more probably – Ever!
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November 11, 2025 at 10:45 am
Really? You don’t want to go find your own Etsy fails? LOL. Honestly, there are many marvelous items there – most of my gift guide comes from Etsy. It’s just the, er, less successful items that I can’t resist having a little fun with…
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