My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume X: Project No Way

13 Comments

Welcome to Cracker Barrel. May I take your order? Vintage Oscar de la Renta ensemble sold by the surprisingly self aware FabulousMessVintage

Welcome to Cracker Barrel. May I take your order? Vintage Oscar de la Renta ensemble which I consider proof positive that Oscar dabbled in some pretty hardcore illegal substances back in the day. Sold by the surprisingly self aware FabulousMessVintage

I need a frock. Let the hilarity ensue.

et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.

I need a dress for an event in October, and so I’ve been obsessively hunting around for something that doesn’t resemble a parachute, something flattering, something with a wow factor. Therefore, I’ve been voluntarily exposing myself to both wonderful and cringe-worthy fashion. I thought I would make this episode of  Etsomnia™ about my finds, terrific and tragic. Therefore, non-fashion-interested people (for example, most straight men and my wife) may be excused. See you tomorrow.

Below are the results of my rousing game of good dress/bad dress. I’m particularly entertained by what I imagine the Project Runway judges’ reactions. As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Peek-a-boo lace gown by NelliUzun

Sheer is tricky. There’s a lot of black lace dresses out there these days, and some of them are pretty good, but I’ve never seen one as stellar as this one. By NelliUzun

And here is a perfect example of bad sheer. Well, really it's a perfect example of bad, full stop. By Mijumaju

And here is a perfect example of bad sheer. Well, really it’s a perfect example of bad, full stop.

Summer tea dress by MatchLife

If you must wear orange, wear it like this beauty by MatchLife (they have many wonderful dresses you should go look at!)

On the other hand, this disaster from Shanye90 should be taken out and shot.

On the other hand, this disaster should be taken out and shot. Repeatedly. And then stabbed for safety’s sake.

Sheer overlay strapless gown by MJVOCouture

Sheer overlays also abound these days. A strong contender, here’s an absolute knockout from MJVOCouture

On the other hand, Im enjoying what Heidi Klum would have to say about this mess by KataKovacs

I wouldn’t even wear this as a costume (unless I was going as a fashion school dropout). (Couldn’t she have at least brushed her hair?)

Summer formal daisy print skirt and cardigan by ChineseHut

Not a fan of yellow, I wouldn’t normally look twice at something like this, but this glorious ensemble by ChineseHut is so spectacular, if it were season-appropriate, I’d be all over it.

gown 5

Little House on the Scary.

Crinkled layered gown by MoMoSoho

Absolutely stunning crinkled, hand-dyed dress by MoMoSoho. Quite pricey for a rayon knock-off, but it’s glorious nonetheless.

No words. Me. I ALWAYS have words, but this thing is so hilariously bad, I am rendered speechless.

Custom-made satin gown by LadyVioletDesigns

If you’re going to go goth, this is the way to do it. Gorgeous boned custom-made satin gown by LadyVioletDesigns. I take off my teensy top hat to you!

However, this multiple-personality dress is just a disaster. The name might have been your first clue. It's the Gothic geisha steampunk barbie kimono

However, this multiple-personality dress is just a disaster. I initially clicked on it because the front was kind of fascinating. Then this happened. The name should have tipped me off. “Gothic geisha steampunk barbie kimono dress”

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! By MarinaSeveryna

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! By MariaSeveryna

Oh, hell no. I managed to lose the link to this one, but you needed to see it anyway.

I’m hoping this was the result of an unconventional materials challenge that happened inside the crafts section of a 1970s Woolworth’s.

Asymmetrical mermaid gown by DesireeSpice

I need this creation in all five colors. It’s good from every angle. I’m certain black magic was employed. By DesireeSpice

You know how every fashion show ends with a bride? You're welcome.

You know how every fashion show ends with a bride? Well, I hate to disappoint. Just imagine this thing coming down the aisle toward you. Run away! Run away!

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

13 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume X: Project No Way

  1. Despite being a straight man with no interest in fashion, I hung around for the commentary…. and I must say it was worth it.

    Like

  2. I agreed with your choices so far.

    Like

  3. Oooh! Love this OBT! I especially loved to hate the goth MPD number.

    Like

  4. I LOVE the red one you said yes to. That is just very beautiful color and very cool style.

    Like

  5. Hahahaha! “Little House on the Scary” had me cracking the EFF UP! So did that “BE the Flower” monstrosity. I don’t even think Lady GaGa would rock that shiz. Nuh-uh…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Pingback: OBT Greatest Hits of 2014! | My OBT

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