Etsomnia™ Volume XIII: Fancy Dress Party!!

October 23, 2014 by Donna from MyOBT 11 Comments

When it comes to costumes, there’s no excuse for lazy.

et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.

It’s nearly the end of October, and so this week’s edition of Etsomnia™ is dedicated to Halloween and to costumes. To the large and small, gorgeous, gory, and god-awful. Buried among the endless offerings of Frozen crap, steampunk junk, and pretentious caballero getups (seriously, what is with all the caballero costumes?) were some fairly special items I hope you enjoy.

As usual, the seller’s name below the picture links to the item for sale. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

LillieBelleBoutique is full of beautiful, high-end (and exorbitantly-priced) costumes for children like this “Renoir Girl.” I don’t know any child that wouldn’t immediately make this sticky, so I recommend the children are first shrink-wrapped. You know, with air holes

And speaking of gratuitously-expensive costumes, for a cool $12K, you can dress like a whatever this is. “EcoFAB Trash Couture.”

Wonderfully weird fetish costume by HouseOfHarlot. If someone asked me what I was dressed as, I would just say Barbra Streisand.

Wonderfully weird fetish costume by HouseOfHarlot. If someone asked me what my costume was supposed to be, I would tell them I was half of Spy vs Spy. Or Michael Jackson. Or maybe a tampon.

It's hard to know whether this is intentionally a costume or just an extreme case of knit-mania, but either way, yike. By AnnaLesnikova, whose store is filled with items this ugly

It’s hard to know whether this is intentionally a costume or just an extreme case of knit-mania, but either way, yike. The seller took down this item almost as soon as she listed it, but her store is filled with wonderfully awful items.

I don’t know what costume this would go with, but I know I need one. By LivFreeCreations

This, ladies and gents, is how it’s done! Beetlejuice family costumes by Deconstructress, whose store is full of fantastic, interesting individual and family costumes

Okay, maybe just one more. Deconstructress has so many needful things in her store, it's very fortunate that I can't afford any of it or I'd be in real trouble

Okay, maybe just one more. Deconstructress has so many needful things in her store, it’sa good thing I can’t afford any of it or I’d be in real trouble

Completely terrifying (and itchy-looking) Krampus costume by RamonPiper. In case you didn't know, Krampus is the demon-like creature of German folklore who accompanied St. Nick and kidnapped naughty children. This explains a lot.

Completely terrifying (and itchy-looking) Krampus costume. This one has taken a turn for the fetishy, which is weird because Krampus is the demon-like creature of German folklore who accompanied St. Nick and kidnapped naughty children. Alright, I hear it.

You know that toddler could have done a better job herself. By a seller who is, frankly, really not applying herself

Oh, cut it out. I'm trying to focus here. By TheWishingElephant

Oh, cut it out. People expect me to find awful things and be snarky, and you’re ruining everything with your cute. By TheWishingElephant

That’s more like it! Bunny costume for your bearded dragon. Yep. By a seller who I’m assuming hit the wacky weed pretty hard before coming up with this business model

And while we’re on the subject of pet costumes, how adorable/hilarious is this? No creature can express humiliation better than a dog. By SewingArt

This is a kind of fascinating idea, actually. You download the PDF template and instructions, then assemble and decorate however you like. I really like the designs. The folds do very interesting things with light. Might have to try this myself. By WinterCroft

This is a fascinating idea. You download the PDF template and instructions, then assemble and decorate however you like. I really like the designs. The folds do very interesting things with light. Might have to try this myself. By Wintercroft

Oh, look! He's dressed as a tool! By SilverLeafCostumes

Oh, look! He’s dressed as a douchebag!

Stop that at once! I already told you I'm trying to go for weird or bad or fascinating. I have no time for your adorableness. Last-minute costume instructions by AlphabetCircus

Stop that at once! I already told you this post is all about weird and bad and fascinating. I have no time for your adorable shenanigans. Last-minute costume instructions by AlphabetCircus