My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume XXXIX: Derby Day

26 Comments

Perhaps the biggest fascinator in the history of fascination. By BWerson74

Perhaps the largest fascinator in the history of fascination. By my hero BWerson74, who offers many fabulous / crazy hat choices

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

This week’s Etsomnia post is about spring hats. Much like Etsomnia XV: Hat Shit Crazy, today, we celebrate some of Etsy’s wackiest head coverings. However, since the first Saturday in May is only two days away, today, we’re celebrating wacky Etsy headgear Kentucky Derby style! (In other words, all the hats that appear in today’s post were the results of an Etsy search for “derby hat.”)

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

By GemmaJMillinery

Even though another hat was funnier, I couldn’t resist this pose.

Well, that’s one way to clear out your junk drawer. But doesn’t Tiny Tim look lovely?

And because that one wasn't enough crazy, here's another winner from LaHatterieMillinery

This should come with beanbags in case the kids get bored.

Surprise! Dinosaur fascinator by PrancingPeacockHats

Dinosaur fascinator by a seller who I suspect is actually a 5-year-old boy.

Want to look at once springy and like a lunatic? Here's just the thing! By RubyandCordelias

Want to look both spring-like and loony? Has Etsy ever got the hat for you!

And clearly a contender in the most-obnoxious-to-sit-behind category, here is a pink head shrub by darnasderbyhats

A leading contender in the most-obnoxious-to-sit-behind category, here is a poufy pink ballgown for your head.

By LalluChicHatCouture

I feel strongly that they missed an opportunity by not making the hat band plaid.

This happened to me once when I pulled a thread on a sweater. I assume it's the same thing. By HatArtists

I ended up with something that looked like this once when I pulled a thread on a cheap sweater. I assume that’s what happened here.

Here’s something understated and tasteful from the Whoville collection.

Etsy never fails to amuse me.

This is called “Queen of Atlantis,” which makes me wonder if Atlantis sank into the sea because it was weighed down by stupid hats.

Pure idiocy. By Fascinatinggeorgie

Do you think she put that on deliberately or is she stuck in a bear trap and attached the flowers to dress it up?

This hat is reminding me of something . . .

Why is

This style is all the rage during quarter quell games in the Capitol this season.

True story: I am currently sporting a sinus headache that feels exactly like this hat looks. By HatsByCressida

True story: I am currently sporting a headache that feels exactly like this hat looks.

Similar to the bear trap hat, I have to assume this poor creature accidentally got her head stuck in a basket and is bravely trying to make the best of it. By OliviaHeadwear

Similar to the bear trap hat, I have to assume this poor creature accidentally got her head stuck in a basket and is bravely trying to make the best of it.

Fascinators, now with people repellent! By ChikiBird

Fascinators, now with people repellent!

Designer dunce cap for $436. Now, that's stupid. By ArianeMariane

Designer dunce cap for $436. Now, that’s stupid.

This ought to turn heads. Away from you, I mean.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

26 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XXXIX: Derby Day

  1. Bwah ha ha ha! I’ve seen many obnoxious hats and fascinates at weddings and garden parties but each of these hats was in a whole other category of ridiculous and/or ugly. It troubles me how much time and creative energy people invested in producing these. Except the butt plug hat. I don’t think anyone invested anything in that.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Ha Ha! Oh there were some revolting hats amongst that lot! Who would want to wear fish on their head? That pointy thing was ugly too. Hideous!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Anyone remember the hats worn at Prince William’s wedding to Kate? Many would have fit in this parade of “what the F#%* “fashion.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. To say something is a hat not even I could love is to say a lot about the hat. I could not love any of these. A few of them might could be salvaged but being around hideously bad taste produces such ennui.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. As a KY resident, I can vouch for the extreme excitement and off-the-wall get-ups. The mania is palpable here leading up to Derby Day. The other day, I was at Michaels, and there were droves of customers purchasing supplies to make their own derby hats. Madness! I’ll be staying home on Saturday.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Excellent observation on the headache hat. Love this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Donna I have shared this on my Facebook page as I thought it was awesome and made me laugh

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Wow. I feel itchy, disturbed and smelly just perusing these oddities. I’m always struck by those attempting to sell freakish wares thinking a really bad case of bed head will add to the appeal. Surreal.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I love the yellow one.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Loved your captions; the hats, not so much, in fact not at all. Toilet plunger?

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Hahaha. Oh wow. I loved this post. The one with the giant bugs creeped me out.

    Liked by 1 person

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