Etsomnia™ XLII: WTF Again

May 21, 2015 by Donna from MyOBT 35 Comments

A search for taxidermy on Etsy always turns up some odd items, but I was completely unprepared for whatever this is. (If anyone can tell me the actor it reminds me of, I would be very grateful. It’s driving me crazy!)

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep. (True story.)

Back in August of 2014, I posted Etsomnia™ VII: WTF Edition. In the months between then and now, I’ve explored all kinds of crazy things from weddings to fan-created merchandise to statement necklaces, and I’ve even checked out some of the more, um, interesting models on Etsy. But recent Etsy searches have turned up a few items that were so bizarre, they didn’t fall into any other category. In fact, some were too gross to include at all. (Click if you must.) Be warned. This one is going to be a challenge to unsee.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

"Silence if the Lambs" inspired Buffalo Bill doll. Mind blown (and not in a good way). By PunkRockWhiteTrash

“Silence if the Lambs” inspired Buffalo Bill doll. I thought “what movie character would I want to see even less than B-Bill?” And then I found it.

I don't know whether I'm more bothered by the fact that these earrings have eyes or the way they are mismatched. From LeasBoutique

I don’t know whether I’m more bothered by the fact that these earrings have eyeballs or the fact that one of them is kind of lazy.

I’m not entirely sure what is being sold in this listing, but I can guarantee I don’t want one. By PonyKlau who has many other confusing listings, too!

Clever bastards. By JennifersDolls

Q. What have you got there? A. A baby with the body of a chicken giving birth to snakes. Why do you ask? By JazzWalrus, who you would think couldn't get more disturbing than this.

Q. What have you got there?
A. A baby with the body of a chicken giving birth to snakes. Why do you ask?
You would think this seller’s items couldn’t get more disturbing than chicken boy. Wrong.

We see swans behind our house all the time. They are definitely not this friendly. Sold for $10,000 from RXVrings

We see swans behind our house all the time. They are definitely not this, um, friendly. We’re okay with that. Sold for $10,000 by RXVrings

This tasteful little number appeared during my prom dress search last week. Can you imagine? By GlacierMilk

Yes, those are plastic dinosaurs. This tasteful little “upcycled” number appeared during my prom dress search last week. Oh, and it’s $3,500.

Surprise!

YOUR AD HERE. Come on, people. What are you doing with your lives? By the obviously NSFW YourNameOnBoobs

“Glamour Turd” cuff made from dinosaur poop. Folks you saw it here first. And, presumably, last.

Do I know why I need this? No, I do not. And yet . . . By LivFreeCreations

Worried your guests will overstay their welcome? Why not put out these grapefruit-scented human tongue guest soaps? They're sure to run screaming! By GloomMatterOnEtsy

Worried your guests will overstay their welcome? Why not put out these grapefruit-scented human tongue guest soaps? Pesky visitors just disappear!

Is it weird that my first thought when I saw this life-sized boyfriend pillow was "Hed look great in drag"? By SnugAMate

Is it weird that my first thought when I saw this life-sized boyfriend pillow was “Wouldn’t he look great in drag?”

If this came with an Edison bulb, I might consider it. Ha, ha! I’m kidding! Everyone knows doll heads are hot right now, but doll bodies are tacky!