My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ XLII: WTF Again

35 Comments

Way to keep it weird, Etsy. By Aldetha

A search for taxidermy on Etsy always turns up some odd items, but I was completely unprepared for whatever this is. (If anyone can tell me the actor it reminds me of, I would be very grateful. It’s driving me crazy!)

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep. (True story.)

Back in August of 2014, I posted Etsomnia™ VII: WTF Edition. In the months between then and now, I’ve explored all kinds of crazy things from weddings to fan-created merchandise to statement necklaces, and I’ve even checked out some of the more, um, interesting models on Etsy. But recent Etsy searches have turned up a few items that were so bizarre, they didn’t fall into any other category. In fact, some were too gross to include at all. (Click if you must.) Be warned. This one is going to be a challenge to unsee.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

"Silence if the Lambs" inspired Buffalo Bill doll. Mind blown (and not in a good way). By PunkRockWhiteTrash

“Silence if the Lambs” inspired Buffalo Bill doll. I thought “what movie character would I want to see even less than B-Bill?” And then I found it.

I don't know whether I'm more bothered by the fact that these earrings have eyes or the way they are mismatched. From LeasBoutique

I don’t know whether I’m more bothered by the fact that these earrings have eyeballs or the fact that one of them is kind of lazy.

I'm not entirely sure what is being sold in this listing, but I can guarantee I don't want one. By ponyklau

I’m not entirely sure what is being sold in this listing, but I can guarantee I don’t want one. By PonyKlau who has many other confusing listings, too!

Clever bastards. By JennifersDolls

Clever bastards. By JennifersDolls

Q. What have you got there? A. A baby with the body of a chicken giving birth to snakes. Why do you ask? By JazzWalrus, who you would think couldn't get more disturbing than this.

Q. What have you got there?
A. A baby with the body of a chicken giving birth to snakes. Why do you ask?
You would think this seller’s items couldn’t get more disturbing than chicken boy. Wrong.

We see swans behind our house all the time. They are definitely not this friendly. Sold for $10,000 from RXVrings

We see swans behind our house all the time. They are definitely not this, um, friendly. We’re okay with that. Sold for $10,000 by RXVrings

This tasteful little number appeared during my prom dress search last week. Can you imagine? By GlacierMilk

Yes, those are plastic dinosaurs. This tasteful little “upcycled” number appeared during my prom dress search last week. Oh, and it’s $3,500.

YOUR AD HERE. Come on, people. What are you doing with your lives? By the obviously NSFW YourNameOnBoobs

"Glamour Turd" cuff made from dinosaur poop. Folks you saw it here first. And, presumably, last. By KATROXWEARATTITUDE

“Glamour Turd” cuff made from dinosaur poop. Folks you saw it here first. And, presumably, last.

Do I know why I need this? No, I do not. And yet . . . By LivFreeCreations

Do I know why I need this? No, I do not. And yet . . . By LivFreeCreations

Worried your guests will overstay their welcome? Why not put out these grapefruit-scented human tongue guest soaps? They're sure to run screaming! By GloomMatterOnEtsy

Worried your guests will overstay their welcome? Why not put out these grapefruit-scented human tongue guest soaps? Pesky visitors just disappear!

Is it weird that my first thought when I saw this life-sized boyfriend pillow was "Hed look great in drag"? By SnugAMate

Is it weird that my first thought when I saw this life-sized boyfriend pillow was “Wouldn’t he look great in drag?”

By CreatureAndApe

If this came with an Edison bulb, I might consider it. Ha, ha! I’m kidding! Everyone knows doll heads are hot right now, but doll bodies are tacky!

Wall art which, as far as I can tell from the description, was NOT made out of human parts. Allegedly. By RakenLeaves

Wall art which, as far as I can tell from the description, was NOT made out of human parts. Allegedly. 

 

 

 

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

35 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ XLII: WTF Again

  1. I think it’s Leonard Cohen.
    And the swan thing — mythology! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leda_and_the_Swan Not that that improves it much…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ummmm…..I think the cat’s got my grapefruit scented human tongue…I’m speechless.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I got seriously creeped out by most of these!!! Now I have to check the sellers’ stores to see if this stuff actually sells! – Karen

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Is it Michael McDonald from MadTV?? Oh, that’s weird.

    I haven’t even looked at the rest yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Looked & even “must”-ed & was mostly disgusted! Oh. MY. Gah! (insert befuddled Jack-McFarland face HERE)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The swan molestation ornament is a depiction of Leda and Zeus but definitely still grotesque. Every single one of these items is just spine-judderingly horrible – though I admit the Star Trek red shirt guy is quite witty. I think the fox has a look of William Fichtner about him. Never has taxidermy been more creepy.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. To do list: control curiosity. The only good thing about the hairy mole brooch is that there is only one. Worse than knowing people make such items is knowing others buy them. The sellers can be tracked down and then avoided, the buyers may be my neighbors. Shudder!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh God some of that is pretty freaky!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Where does their creative inspiration come from?! I would love to see inside the minds of some of these “crafters.” On second thought, no, I wouldn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. “Dammit, Jim!” That red shirted dead doll almost got me! Father-in-law is a Trekkie.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. If I can’t sleep tonight, I’m blaming you . . . .

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: Etsomnia™ Volume XLIII: Not the Brightest Bulbs | My OBT

  13. Why did I click on the Gross Hairy Mole Brooch? Why did I do it? I’ll never have an adequate answer. I read your warning, saw the words as I hovered over the URL, and yet I still couldn’t resist.

    But now that I’ve passed the point of no return, I have a few important observations worth sharing:

    1. So relieved it’s cruelty-free (“2 cat whiskers, found NOT plucked!”)

    2. A little disappointed there’s only one for sale. Way to take the exclusive-hipster cake, DamagedGoodsStudios. I see you.

    3. I would be remiss not to direct your attention to an item already sold, the Ladies Open Wound Laceration Bracelet (found here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/173160726/ladies-open-wound-laceration-bracelet?ref=shop_review ) Ladies only though! We don’t want any gross boy cooties infecting our open wounds!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Pingback: Etsomnia™ Volume XLIV: Etsom-nom-nomnia | My OBT

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