Words to live by. Print by HeidisHubbub
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
It’s Coney Island Mermaid Parade week once again, and I have some kind of thrilling news. Since I couldn’t find the time to put together a float and crew and costumes, I am instead going to be a judge! We’ve won the motorized float division so many times, it only seems fair to give someone else a chance . . .
(Since I know someone will ask, getting to judge the Mermaid Parade is not a great honor. The way you get to be a judge is you pay for a super-duper membership to Coney Island USA. Judging is one of the perks of this level of membership. However, that doesn’t mean I’m not going to milk it for everything it’s worth!)
So anyway, since I’m in a distinctly merm-like mood, this week’s Etsomnia™ post is all about mermaids; mermaid gear, mermaid costumes, mermaid paraphernalia, the works! Enjoy!
As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all MyOBT’s weekly Etsomnia™ posts.
Mermaid pipe by NorthLightGlass. Really pretty, but wouldn’t you have trouble keeping it lit underwater?
If you’re young enough to still want Little Mermaid-covered shit, you’re probably too young to drive.
Best. Pasties. Ever. That’s right, I’m raving about pasties. Deal with it. By NickkyTurtleCreation
Okay, I confess I’ve thrown together one or two of these in my day. However, while last-minute mermaid costumes do happen, I don’t make anyone pay me for them.
What is she doing to that turtle?!?
Put down the glue gun and no one gets hurt. By a seller who has been guilty of this crime before
I’m sorry to report that you missed the 1-day-only sale of this very convincing fish costume. You’ll just have to pay full price.
Want, want, want! By WightFairy
I really thought this was one search that wouldn’t turn up any cat merch. I was wrong.
Does your child wish to dress up like a mermaid? Yes! Does she want her mermaid costume to look like a Paul Frank monkey mated with a cocktail olive? OF COURSE NOT.
Gorgeous, but I am way too accident-prone for them. I would immediately scratch a cornea, and not necessarily my own. By Ostoksia
And now for something I really love. These mermaid marquee-style wall art pieces are perfect! Definitely going on my next Christmas list. By AmericanVintageInc
“What’s that on your head?”
“Garbage.”
Yike. By MermaidFabric. To be fair, they also have some really… beautiful… things. And also this.
For the mermaid enthusiast with everything: a tiny figurine of a mermaid with pink eye.
I would have said that a mermaid-themed wedding was a great idea. I would have been mistaken.
Daenerys Targaryen wears a lot of skins. I assume this explains the look of terror in the baby seal’s eyes.
I could not love this more. By SoBadAsh
What’s better than an ugly doll? An ugly doll ON YOUR HEAD! By a seller who isn’t afraid to let her freak flag fly
Looks like somebody’s been working out! Not her, but somebody.
I can totally appreciate the effort, but I’ve worn eyelashes with floppy stuff like this and it inevitably ends up poking you in the eye.
Make no mistake. That dog IS going to poop on your pillow. And can you blame him?
Somehow, I don’t already own these, if you can imagine. By SteamHatter
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My OBT 
June 18, 2015 at 7:28 am
Like Wow! Who knew that there was this much crazy mermaid stuff out there. I’m surprised that those very skinny straps can even hold on that mermaid bra. I imagine bouncing along and then all of a sudden you’re not.
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June 18, 2015 at 8:49 am
I require hydraulics to keep my, erm, clamshells aloft. And I actually held back. There were zillions of other tragic and tremendous mermaid items I would have liked to include!
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June 18, 2015 at 7:33 am
The bra top looks seriously uncomfortable…and honestly, would you want to destroy the beauty of “your girls” this way!! Another great collection of Etsy finds 🙂 – Karen
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June 18, 2015 at 8:50 am
Thank you! Yeah, there’s a lot of fugly mermaid merch out there. (Luckily!)
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June 18, 2015 at 8:15 am
Funny!! The pic showing the “mermaid-themed wedding” it reminds me a lot our flockloric “traje de sevillana” LOL with flower included! http://www.entreciriosyvolantes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/page.jpg
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June 18, 2015 at 8:51 am
The main difference being that those dresses are GORGEOUS and the mermaid dresses are just kind of depressing.
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June 19, 2015 at 1:44 pm
You say what I was thinking, but I’m not dare to say… LOL!! Oh I always find a lot of fun here!!
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June 18, 2015 at 8:15 am
I know someone who would love that flask, haha ^^
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June 18, 2015 at 8:51 am
Yep. Me.
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June 18, 2015 at 8:58 am
xd
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June 18, 2015 at 9:54 am
Wahhh, my clam shells are plain, I want fancy mermaid pasties too. If hubby saw these, he would buy them and insist I wear them for special evenings. After 35 years, you do odd things to keep it going.
LikeLiked by 3 people
June 18, 2015 at 10:35 am
Having drafted and deleted no fewer than 4 responses to your comment, I’m just going to say this… Nope. On second thought, I’m not going to say that either. Um, thanks?
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June 18, 2015 at 10:13 am
Shoes – feckin’ awesome! Eyelash “gems” – a little cruddy.
Now those Paperself eyelash creations are a bit more wearable in the wearable eyelash-art category… they do have a seaside set, I’m pretty sure.
LikeLiked by 1 person
June 18, 2015 at 10:38 am
You’re right! These are much less likely to blow into your eyes: http://www.amazon.com/PAPERSELF-Womens-Under-Glam-Black/dp/B005IW7E1I/ref=sr_1_1
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June 18, 2015 at 11:30 am
Um… Love everything about this terribleness. If you can’t sew you probably shouldn’t sell clothing on Etsy. I didn’t realize there were links to other… Interesting things. Who wears waffle headbands? The raven one was actually pretty great for costume use though, in my opinion.
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June 18, 2015 at 11:37 am
I loved the raven one for its sheer wackiness, but I think it’s meant as clubwear. That would be interesting.
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June 18, 2015 at 11:39 am
I’m not sure how that is clubwear… I’ve never been to a club quite like that… Haha
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June 18, 2015 at 11:45 am
Exactly!
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June 18, 2015 at 12:33 pm
You have made me look forward to Thursdays. And rethink my fascinator efforts. I had set those aside because I was disappointed with the results but if these folks haven’t given up, maybe I shouldn’t either.
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June 18, 2015 at 12:44 pm
You could fascinate circles around these people!
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June 18, 2015 at 12:40 pm
The poor unseen child victim in the fish costume! Particularly like your comment on TheMillineryShop’s headgear. The cat, however, did not. My laughing disrupted her sleep!
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June 18, 2015 at 12:45 pm
Thank you! And don’t worry. I have never heard of a cat with insomnia. She’ll recover.
LikeLiked by 2 people