Etsomnia™ Volume 51: Romper Room

July 30, 2015 by Donna from MyOBT 25 Comments

I think there’s something wrong with me. I spotted this and thought, “Yessssss!”

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

A few years ago, my friend Annie brought something she’d bought out to Fire Island, fully believing it was going to be a fashion-forward item of clothing she’d get a lot of wear out of that summer. It is hard to describe, but she found a listing for almost exactly the same garment! It looked like Appalachian resort wear. It was the most hilarious, the most unwearable piece of clothing any of us had ever seen. Of course, we all tried it on (men & women of all different sizes). Bizarrely, we could all get into it and get it closed, but everyone looked like a different flavor of crazy in it. It was the ugliest onesie ever (and our house is affectionately referred to as the Ugg Shack), so we dubbed it the Uggsie. The Uggsie is still in the Fire Island closet, and we trot it out once in a while because it makes us laugh. Hard. It is the most People of Walmart item of clothing I’ve ever donned.

So this week is a tribute to the Uggsie. Today, I’m exploring rompers, overalls, jumpsuits, unitards, playsuits, and onesies in the adult clothing category. I’m something of an expert, you know.

NOTE: I am heading out of town, so since I will be blogging from my phone, the next week and a half’s posts will be on time but brief.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts. Follow me on Bloglovin!

green adult romper by KathysFunCreations

This is nearly identical to the thing we had to wear for gym at my all-girls’ Catholic high school. It was, in a sense, the ideal garment, because everyone looked equally unfuckable* in it.
*Sorry. Sometimes, that’s the only word that will do.

Pastel goth adult romper by BannedFromTV

They call this a “pastel goth romper” like that’s a thing.

Hot date with a clown but don’t know what to wear? Have no fear: Etsy has got you covered!

Clown-like vintage culottes sold by YellowWoodVintage

I dressed my daughter in this exact item when she was 8 months old. It did a fair job of accommodating her diaper. I assume this adult version is intended to do the same.

This vintage embroidered cotton jumpsuit is so fresh and beautiful, you could get married in it! By BluegrassVoodoo

This model is REALLY feeling this jumpsuit. I dont remember acid wash inspiring this much passion in either the wearer or the observers. Another gem by YellowWoodVintage

This model is REALLY feeling this jumpsuit. This may be the first time acid wash ever inspired this much passion in either the wearer or the observers. Okay. Maybe the second time.

Excuse me, but I thought you should know your balls are showing.

“This palazzo jumpsuit can make any shape look tall and slender.” If you say so… By the way, the hilarity doesn’t end there

Unlike that penguin-shaped thing, this style looks like it might actually look good on pretty much everyone. By Teyxo

Fetish playsuit featuring their “signature inflatable mega boob,” which I assume also describes their customers.

Men, after a long day in the office, are you too tired for romance? If you wear this adult bunny suit around the house, guaranteed no one will bother you for sex. Possibly ever again.

The trifecta of maternity clothes! 1. uncomfortable, 2. unflattering, and 3. expensive.

The perfect jumpsuit for when you want to steal a turkey. By MariaQueenMaria. Note: does anyone else notice the hole in the crotch? What's that for?

The perfect jumpsuit for when you want to shoplift a turkey. Note: What is up with the hole in the crotch? Nevermind. Don’t tell me.

This thing is kind of awesome, as long as you don't object to being mistaken for a sofa. By CrushVintageCandy

This thing is kind of awesome, as long as you don’t object to being mistaken for a 1950’s sofa.

If you happen to have a 100 flawless body, this would be adorable on you. On the rest of us, its a non-starter. By Luxe9

If you have a 100% flawless body, this would be adorable on you. On the rest of us, it would get weird pretty quickly. By Luxe9

I am certain I have seen this exact dude in Whole Foods. And so far, I haven’t punched him in the windpipe.

Nope. It’s not vintage. Someone out there is actually ready to take your custom order! Hope she’s not holding her breath.

Horribl green vintage jumpsuit sold by ByTheWay

My mother always told me it’s not nice to make fun of the disadvantaged.

Presumably, she’s clutching her stomach because she’s feeling sick after looking in a mirror. Poor thing.

This seems oddly familiar.

As idiotic as these sheer pink overalls are, I included them because shes standing on a toilet. By ShopRachelRector who should consider taking her pictures in the kitchen.

As idiotic as these sheer pink overalls are, the real reason I included is that shes standing on a toilet, holding her lower abdomen like she’s in an IBS commercial.