Nothing says Halloween like this roadkill rabbit costume.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
‘Tis the season to be costumed! I love dressing up so much that my friends and I call Halloween (and the days leading up to it) the High Holy Days. You can imagine how seriously I take costumes, and there’s no place better than Etsy to find fabulous costume items. From makeup to period costumes to over-the-top headdresses to extra appendages to costume footwear, Etsy delivers and then some. However, this wouldn’t be Etsomnia without an exploration of the… let’s call them less fortunate costumes for sale. I should warn you that this year’s ugly offerings* (*NSFW) are off the charts in the high price category. Early on, I started sorting my search results by highest price, and then I just couldn’t stop.
As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts. Follow me on Bloglovin!
In case you’ve ever wondered what $49,000.00 would buy you on Etsy, here’s your answer. It’s a plain black sweatshirt with safety pin “wings.” I’m in the wrong business.
I don’t know why she has the Eiffel Tower on her head, but it’s all fabulous! $595.00 by DaNeeNa
Somewhere, somehow, Marie Antoinette is laughing her ass off. $6,353.97
The hat alone looks like it should come with a neck brace and a bottle of Advil, and when you add in the price, it should also include a straight jacket. $7,370.00
This fascinating hydraulic boot armour is worth every penny. $367.11 by BionicConcepts
I think the title says it all: “Tree of Knowledge – crochet branching earthy Brain Blanket Headdress with 81 tails.” That’s only $44.44 per tail. What a bargain! $3,600.00
What’s better than one little girl in a matching tutu and fairy wings? How about ten? This is a fantastic idea for a party. They send you ten sets in different colors for only $195.00! By KadensCloset
If you’re going to spend this much, wouldn’t you at least expect to get the whole costume? This is a reserved listing (meaning someone has agreed to spend this kind of money on just the top). There really is one born every minute. $3,824.09
To quote my mother when I was in high school, “Are you trying to make yourself ugly?” $566.08
There’s nothing worse than a fairy who is trying too hard. $10,000.00
Profoundly weird yet strangely beautiful rabbit mask that I suspect will appear in my dreams tonight (and not in a good way). $688.58 by BlackHatandDeathMask
Further proof that money is no indicator of taste. $2,800.00.
Friends don’t let friends wear this in public. Or in private, for that matter. $1,750.00
Considering the amount of work that must have gone into this mirrored costume, the price doesn’t seem that outrageous. Of course, between blinding pilots and stabbing anyone who gets too close, the body count will add up pretty quickly. $3,000.00 by EtereShop
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My OBT 
October 1, 2015 at 10:32 am
That mirrored thing kinda looks like a cool statue, and the two little girls in wings and tutus is tutu adorable. Thank you, I needed this today to keep me amused as I wait for the plumber to arrive and unclog the main drain of the house. Yes, it’s a bad situation here, so thank you for the levity.
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October 1, 2015 at 11:33 am
Yike. Good luck with the plumbing!
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October 1, 2015 at 10:42 am
That roadkill costume showed up on my reader and all I could say was SWEET JESUS. I totally would have loved to have a fairy party as a little girl, though (hell, I’d love one now, and I’m 51!)
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October 1, 2015 at 11:34 am
I’m 50, and I’d have one, too! It helps that I have wonderfully silly friends.
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October 1, 2015 at 11:02 am
Ok. You got me. Love the outrageous costumes and $$$. Comments perfectioness. Couldn’t just say perfection.
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October 1, 2015 at 11:34 am
That’s a great word. Thank you!
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October 1, 2015 at 11:09 am
How in the actual heck do these artisans come up with their pricing structure? And do people actually part with that much money online without being able to explore the item themselves in fine detail? It’s a whole lot of crazy. That said, the fairy wings and tutus strike me as great value and would definitely be good for a party for a troop of wee pixies. On the other hand, my kids are the biggest fans of my Zombie Bunny ink drawings I know for sure that at least one of them would want that bunny roadkill costume. Which is why I am not showing them it.
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October 1, 2015 at 11:35 am
That may be for the best.
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October 1, 2015 at 12:03 pm
“There’s nothing worse than a fairy who is trying too hard.” This is probably the most insightful thing I will read today.
What intrigues me is how thin the line is between a win and a fail sometimes. It may just come down to the size of the bows.
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October 1, 2015 at 12:22 pm
That’s an awesome observation! Though in the case of the fairy, I would say the tentacles were the main misstep.
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October 1, 2015 at 1:30 pm
Hilarious commentary. And a lot of WTF from me on those prices, i am clearly under-charging my pieces!!!
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October 1, 2015 at 2:00 pm
Thanks! You’re not undercharging. You’re just not OVERcharging.
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October 2, 2015 at 10:28 am
I wonder what I’d find if I searched for costumes that would fit over a snowsuit – or long johns and fleece. Definitely none of these, but Marie Antoinette might be warm enough.
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October 2, 2015 at 11:41 am
You could always go with a mascot costume. I understand those are positively toasty!
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