Etsomnia™ Volume 61: Fail is in the Air . . . Again

October 15, 2015 by Donna from MyOBT 14 Comments

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

Only slightly doctored photo of actual wreath for sale on Etsy

“Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.” ― Albert Camus, who I always thought was full of shit

Here we go again. I so enjoyed having fun with Etsy’s autumnal offerings last year (and I loved my title so much), I’ve decided to do a sequel. If you’ve been reading Etsomnia, you have no doubt picked up on the fact that I don’t love fall colors. I can’t help it. They all remind me of the ugly sixties kitchens and fashions we had to endure, and I’m just not over it yet. Between my aversion to the palette and my rising dread of the impending winter, I’m feeling especially judgy today. Lucky you!

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts. Follow me on Bloglovin!

This is so bad, I am not even bothered by the wire hanger. By Spacecat1 who appears to take ugly clothes and make them uglier

This is so awful, I am not even bothered by the wire hanger. By a special seller whose job, as far as I can tell, consists of taking ugly clothes and make them uglier

While I am not a collector of gewgaws and dolls and such, I do admire her attitude and her skinny legs. By Candyfleece

While I am not a collector of gewgaws and dolls and such, I do admire her attitude and her skinny legs. (Beloved’s reaction was “Nothing says Fall like a tiny mouse hooker.”)

It’s so exciting to learn that “recycled fairy gloves” are everything I hoped they’d be!

Not a child's garment. I REPEAT: NOT A CHILD'S GARMENT. Nope this is meant for the ladies. By IMakeSmartyPants who may, in fact, hate ladies

Not a child’s garment. I REPEAT: NOT A CHILD’S GARMENT. Nope this is meant for the ladies. This seller may, in fact, hate ladies

These are festive! Mr. Hanky* nursery sheets. By KidsSheets*Not reallly

Cartoon character* nursery sheets.
*Not really

Concerned about purse snatchers? This beauty ought to put them off. I would think it would even keep pickpockets away (because who wants to put their hand in there?) By HedgieFelt

Concerned about purse snatchers? This item ought to put them off. I’ll bet it would even keep pickpockets away (because who wants to put their hand in there?)

In the words of Charlie Brown, Good grief!!! By MapleViewCreations2

If Martha Stewart were a vampire, I assume this would be the only kind of stake that could kill her

Sweetie, just because you love the Dead doesn’t mean you have to walk around looking like a Home Ec fail

Q: Why do you have two cat turds on your mantle?
A: Etsy.

Because seeing this from one angle wasn't terrifying enough. By BlackPearl

I think I made one of these in Girl Scouts! Of course, mine was smaller

No idea what to do with great-grandma’s musty pot holders from the sixties? How about sewing them together to frighten away predators?

I’m not much for hard candy, but these Blackberry Merlot Mulled Wine Lollipop look amazing. By TheGroovyBaker whose shop is full of amazing confections that need to get in my mouth. (You should know that in my head, that sounded like “in ma mouf.”)