
How much do you want to bet this girl has a lot of these?
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)
It’s the week after the Coney Island Mermaid Parade, so since mer-folk are much on my mind, I thought it was the perfect time to explore some of the better (and worse) mermaid -related items for sale on Etsy.

I definitely need some of these! By MermaidsDreamJewelry

And I thought MY breasts were crooked!

These tights are amazing, and I love them extra with those shoes! By BZRshop

Love! However, I don’t think it was seaweed we were smelling all day at the Mermaid Parade … By FoothillPrimitives

Those Victorians really knew their way around a mermaid! By Europeanlighting

This chandelier is a cute idea for a little girl’s room, but I don’t think I could work with those colors.

This shell bra is so well executed, but the graduated colors make it seem like her, um, shells are pointed toward the ocean floor.

I love this giant clam shell sculpture! By TurnNBurnArts

With posture that bad, I imagine she can only swim in circles!

I promised myself I wouldn’t include any mermaid-skirted gowns. Then I saw this. Sigh. By YIMISTYLE

Somebody save poor Barbie! She’s drowning in a sea of nope!

Gorgeous! I might need a couple of these. By ArtMasha

I got both of my girls mermaid blankets for Christmas last year, but they weren’t this fancy! By WhimsiesCrochet

I had no idea dolphins were in attendance at the birth of Jesus. This explains why we found dolphin-related souvenirs in the Ozarks.

Stunning, but she’s making my back ache! By BluffCityDesignCo

That is one cute, drunk baby! By TwoBeanieBums

She might be related to this guy.

Hands down, the best $20 mermaid tail necklace I’ve ever seen! By CandyShockUK

She’s so top-heavy, she doesn’t look like she’d be able to stay submerged. Maybe she wears tail weights.

Illustration of Upward Farting Mermaid pose

Highly desirable wall hangings. By TelesticDesign

Mermaid dustcatcher dreamcatcher

Wilma, what will Fred think? Fantastic custom wall hanging by ToHellinAHandbag

I saw a woman wearing these at the Mermaid Parade last week, and she let me check them out. Hers were made of zip ties and colored plastic wrap! By LinnylaVanteCostumes
June 23, 2016 at 7:09 am
“Los peces en el río / que ven a Dios nacer” / Mexican carol: The fishes in the river come to see God being born.” Dolphins too, I would imagine. Why ever not? 😄
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June 23, 2016 at 7:23 am
A fair point!
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June 23, 2016 at 6:48 pm
Not to mention hand, uh, flipper, holding sea turtles. . . .
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June 23, 2016 at 6:56 pm
It’s amazing the things some Etsy sellers get up to!
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June 23, 2016 at 3:42 pm
The selection this week seems to be evenly split between items I love and items I think are hideous. I love those mermaid earrings in particular but I think if I could only have one item from the selection it would be that clam shell.
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June 23, 2016 at 6:43 pm
That thing really is magnificent. You should check out the other colors, too. So cool!
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June 23, 2016 at 6:57 pm
Oooooh. Other colours. I will definitely need to check those out.
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June 23, 2016 at 8:43 pm
Saving this post for when Master and i move in together, just in case W/we wind up near the beach. 💜
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June 23, 2016 at 10:05 pm
Good luck!
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June 23, 2016 at 10:07 pm
Sorry Donna, but the link above is just code 😦
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June 23, 2016 at 10:18 pm
What link? I didn’t post a link. I just said good luck.
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June 23, 2016 at 10:09 pm
That dress!!! Now I need to find a prom. Or be cast in a princess movie!
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June 23, 2016 at 10:18 pm
Isn’t it the bee’s knees?
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June 24, 2016 at 7:57 am
Seaweed and the blanket for the BIG win win!!
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