I made something like this once using one of my mother’s slips and a headband. Even at the age of 4, I knew it was bad.
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
Every spring, I fall prey to the lure of bridal junk, and so today is the day when I indulge the urge. Back in the eighties when I was shopping for an (ill-adivsed) wedding dress, separates were not a thing. After admiring the top on one but the skirt on another, I remember saying to my mother that I wished we could switch pieces. These days, brides can do just that, and there are some truly gorgeous pieces out there. Of course, because it’s Etsy, individual results may vary…
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
Just the thing for the bride with allergies.
“Fairy tale bridal skirt.” Maybe Grimm’s Fairy Tales.
This sheer overdress covered in stars is so lovely, I want to wear it over EVERYTHING! By BoomBlush
Her poor father.
When the theme of your wedding is White Trash Mermaid
This “Northern Lights” bridal skirt takes my breath away! By WardrobeByDulcinea
It takes a highly-skilled tailor to create wrap-around pleats that don’t look lumpy. That is not who made this.
Unless you’re marrying this guy, I don’t think this is going to have the desired effect.
if you’re going to spend thousands on a wedding dress anyway, you may as well get something no one else has! By DesireeSpice
She looks like a mermaid with plaque psoriasis.
If she brushes up against you, I hear that getting someone to pee on you can help the sting.
The most beautiful wedding coat I’ve ever seen! By FanPlusFriend
Q: What’s the theme of your wedding?
A: Mermaid whorehouse
I get goth. I do. But starting your life together looking like you’ve slit your throat and wrists might send the wrong message.
So fresh and lovely. Perfect for a spring wedding! By Fanfaronada
Purple and pink camouflage? If she’s trying to blend in with the gays, she’s failing miserably.
Anyone else think there might be a toilet under there somewhere?
Hideous? Sure, but at least it’s timely…
Share:
My OBT 
March 28, 2019 at 7:24 am
tThe wedding coat is grand.Wonder what they would wear under it.?
LikeLiked by 1 person
March 28, 2019 at 11:35 am
I think it would look grand over a simple satin sheath! The way they showed it wasn’t my favorite with the skirt of the dress sticking out the front of the coat.
LikeLike
March 28, 2019 at 9:28 am
The toilet one made me choke on my coffee laughing. The pleats – reminds me of when I went shopping with a friend for her wedding dress. She was a stocky girl. She tried on a fitting dress with a lace covering. Coming out of the dressing room she asked what I thought. “I might lose your friendship on this but the truth is it accentuates every ounce you have, and then adds another 20lb”. Blissfully she agreed and the next choice did make the best of the curves she had.
LikeLiked by 2 people
March 28, 2019 at 11:16 am
I have so many questions about so many of these pieces but I got short-circuited by the burnt cheese slice monstrosity and those circuits burned out entirely when I saw the final toilet one. When you threw those in there to conclude the post, it made the macabre goth frock and the diseased mermaid pieces look acceptable by comparison. I actually have a bit of wedding attire angst at the moment and am in constant debate with my sisters about what we are wearing to my brother’s wedding. I would love it if we could wear something like that tailored coat but, alas, I am being forced into a flouncy dress.
LikeLiked by 1 person
March 28, 2019 at 12:17 pm
Ugh. Death to the flouncy dresses! They’re the worst. 6 weeks after I had my younger daughter, I was in my then-sister-in-law’s wedding, surrounded by slim 20-year-olds. They put us all in seafoam taffeta. I looked like garbage. I never forgave her for how tragic (and expensive) that dress was.
LikeLiked by 1 person
March 28, 2019 at 12:50 pm
That does sound rather gnarly. My sisters are younger than me by 4 and 14 years and are much, much more girly. They want us to all be in dusky pink. My brother wants us to be dressed identically. Finding something we agree on is impossible. I’m trying to argue for us all wearing grey but different dresses because the kilts our brother and his partner will be wearing are grey. We still have over a year to keep fighting about it.
LikeLike
March 29, 2019 at 1:47 pm
I can’t stop laughing. The “I get goth…” image and narrative. That wedding coat is amazing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
March 29, 2019 at 7:05 pm
Thank you! That was an unfortunate phase for me. And everyone else.
LikeLiked by 1 person
March 31, 2019 at 11:16 am
The starry overdress is beautiful! The Fanfaronada is lovely too. I see that she is in Poland, it might be my time to order clothes from Poland!! My husband and I are thinking of having a 40th anniversary celebration (over a year away) so I am trying to notice clothes more in an attempt to find something that is perfect.
LikeLiked by 1 person
March 31, 2019 at 3:57 pm
How exciting! That starry thing would be so gorgeous on you! It would be great over a dark jumpsuit.
https://images.app.goo.gl/5XzeryJkPDJP5Qmn7
LikeLike