
Where did clowns shop before Etsy?
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week. We are headed to Mexico for a little beach and tequila time, and I can’t wait! One of the things that comes to mind when I think of the things I love about Mexico is all the stunning embroidery. It appears on everything you can think of: clothing, art, housewares, jewelry, everything! So I thought this week was the perfect opportunity to explore Etsy’s more – and less – artistic embroidery offerings.
By the way, this week’s title was inspired by my newest blog crush, The Bloggess. Go read her. She’s a marvel.
“So if you follow me on Instagram you know that when I’m stressed out I embroider because stabbing things thousands of times with tiny needles is great therapy and keeps me from stabbing assholes who probably deserve it since you’re not allowed to stab people even if it’s only lightly in the leg with a fork (according to my therapist).”
-“Furiously Stabby” by The Bloggess
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!

Oh, these are just lovely! (Apparently, I’m not quite done with Easter yet.) By CandyFleece

If I had to guess, I would say that cat just got his taxes done. I believe I made that exact same face this year.

In case you were wondering, these are butterflies, not, as I thought, tampons with wings.

I love soutache when it’s done well! By GiSoutacheJewelry

“Bullseye” is not what I’d call it, but my name had ‘bull’ in it, too.

College art student, I’m assuming. I want to be his friend, but I also desperately want to choose different clothes for him.

Stunning! By KarmaBirdEmbroidery

Art doll? All I see is this actress with a bug on her nose.

1920s piano shawl. Spectacular! By DressedInHistoryUK

What? Why?

There is no excuse for this kind of crap.

From the Illustrated Guide to Making Friends While Wearing a Tablecloth.

So much personality! By CozyJoyDecor

If anyone asked me where to get a Dr. Strange doll with a toothache, I would send them to Etsy. And I would be right.

The description says it’s a brooch, but all I can see is this.

Dumbo’s special cousin, Dimbo.

What a knock-out! By ToLifeEmbroidery

This “fantasy embroidered hat” seems more like a nightmare.
April 25, 2019 at 7:25 am
Careful on your trip. Not sure Mexico is the safest place to visit right now.
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April 25, 2019 at 9:01 am
Thank you, love, but don’t worry. We stay in the touristy area (plus we are planning on claiming to be Canadian).
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April 25, 2019 at 7:34 am
Have an awesome vacation and if you have a chance to try a tequila called “abandonado” give it a go.
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April 25, 2019 at 9:01 am
Abandonado? LOL. That sounds ominous. Will do!
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April 25, 2019 at 9:29 am
Tampons with wings. I nearly spat my coffee over my keyboard.
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April 25, 2019 at 12:27 pm
My work here is done…
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April 25, 2019 at 12:43 pm
Tampons with wings is actually more horrific than any ‘Silence of the Lambs’ reference. I totally laughed out loud at your Dr Strange caption and does he have some cheeky pubic hair peeking above his waistband? Or do I now just associate your Etsomnia posts with merkins so much that I am imagining it? And do I need therapy?
Have an amazing time in Mexico!
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April 25, 2019 at 2:45 pm
I believe the answer is yes to all of the above. Maybe I need to ease up on the merkin references…
Thank you!
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April 25, 2019 at 3:18 pm
Nah! The more merkins the merrier.
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April 29, 2019 at 6:19 pm
A. Love the shawl! B. I think the tax cat is actually supposed to be a fox. C. How in the world are you just now discovering The Blogess??? She’s wonderful, and her books are too!
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April 29, 2019 at 9:28 pm
Books?!? (Runs for the internet)
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May 1, 2019 at 2:52 pm
I’ve read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and Furiously Happy. I think there may be one other . . .
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May 1, 2019 at 11:43 pm
So cool. Can’t wait to read them!
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