Because who doesn’t love snuggling up to a “happy” lower digestive system?
Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. The surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.) 3. An excuse for me to be an obnoxious, snarky New Yorker once per week.
We have a number of young ones’ birthdays coming up, so this week, I’m on the hunt for toys. I’m sure it comes as no surprise that Etsy is a great place to go when you need something handmade and truly unique. I have always found their toy section to be especially wonderful. It beautifully showcases the amazing, creative energy that Etsy seems to gather around itself. Of course, there are still plenty of turds in the punchbowl, but overall, I’d say it’s my favorite toy store.
Let the games begin! (Note: it is very important when doing a search for toys on Etsy that you remember to exclude the word ‘sex.’ Trust me.) And don’t miss my Bringing Up Baby edition from 2016.
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts!
A busy board would be fun to make, but if you lack the skills or the time, this one by MagicRabbitToy would be a fantastic gift!
What to get for the child whose dollhouse has everything… (a joke listing by the very talented MforMiniatures)
“Dress just like Gru!” Really? A used scarf? That’s the best you could do?
Painting these unfinished Plop-in-the-top games would be a great kid’s party activity/giveaway! By ToyingAround
In case you were wondering, this is a plush broom. “complete with dirt.”
It must be such a pleasure making toys as stunning as this fire truck! By the amazing ToyMakerofSouthport
I am not making this up. This… is a ‘Child’s Toy Censer.’ For the child who ‘wants to be just like the priests.’ I assume he already has a bishop’s rochet and mitre in the dress-up box.
The idea of a custom basketball hoop is cool, and as a thank you gift for a coach, it’s absolutely genius! By 101MiniHoops
How adorable is this OOAK mermaid dress up wig? By ThePurplePumpkinShop
I might need these beauties for my desk… Miniature bikes and bike rack by BeachCottageGardens
This gorgeous thing is the Cadillac of tops and fidget spinners, the Timascus Spinning Top. By RollspinShop
Hilarious and awful at the same time. Given to the right child (or adult) (hint: me), it guarantees to deliver a lifetime of nightmares. Beautifully done, but yike.
M4 assault rifle Lego kit that fires soft bullets. WTF are people thinking?
Is it weird that I want this toy box for myself? By Spoiltrottn
This really appeals to my sense of color order! Pencil/crayon holder by HappyMumsSK
“Upcycled” teddy bear, because that seems sanitary. Good grief, are those teeth?!?
When you lose interest in painting and your smallest nesting doll comes out as a thumb.
Beautiful customizable table and animal chairs. By Piggl
Teething toy, A.K.A. baby’s first phallus.
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My OBT 
May 16, 2019 at 7:40 am
Ohmy …I do love the little bikes.
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May 16, 2019 at 9:01 am
Aren’t they adorable? I want all three. And the bike rack. For no good reason.
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May 16, 2019 at 12:14 pm
There is absolutely no way that the maker of those teethers does not know that they made a penis and a vagina. I see a number of things that my preschool students would love to play with. My 13 year old would love that pale man marionette. He has not seen the movie but he absolutely adores Del Toro’s monster designs so that would be right up his alley.
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May 16, 2019 at 2:55 pm
I love Del Toro’s monsters, too, but that one has haunted me since I first saw the movie. Scary!
And I’m not sure about the teethers. They make many different shapes. This might just have gotten by them.
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May 16, 2019 at 5:00 pm
The busy board is perfect – our youngest will spend hours trying to buckle things.
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May 16, 2019 at 7:15 pm
My brother had a “Dapper Dan” doll with buckles and zippers and buttons. He positively wore it out (and continues to successfully dress himself daily!)
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