“On cold winter nights there’s nothing quite like curling up in front of a roaring toilet.”
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“…and this room’s where we keep all our nonsensical hallucinations.”

“The flush mechanism is elaborate, unorthodox, and spectacular.”

“The first floor bedroom is expected to arrive on the ground floor some time in the next month or so.”

“Progress has been slow, but we’ve been assured he’ll be in the garden by the moving in date.”

“Tuesday night is bath night for the younger pieces of furniture.”

“Some cultures have no word for “matching”.”

“The first floor bedroom is expected to arrive on the ground floor some time in the next month or so.”

“In classical mythology, Cerberus was the demon dog who guarded the entrance to Hades, and was also allowed on the bed.”

“Seriously Graeme, that doesn’t even work in cartoons. Get dressed.”

“Toilet paper is more traditional, and considerably less dangerous.”

“In the ultra-conservative world of soft furnishings, theirs was the love that dared not speak its name.”

“A tragic scene. This is what happens when a smurf bursts.”