Mona Lisa mixed media “art.” And I thought I had weird dreams.
et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered in one’s sleep.
Last night, I couldn’t sleep, but this time, instead of looking for the best stuff on Etsy, I went on a hunt for the worst. There’s a lot of fairly tragic meh-chandise on Etsy, but I was looking for the really special items. And yes, this late-night activity absolutely cheered me up. So without further ado, here is the Etsomnia™ Shitshow. Enjoy. Also, I’d like to apologize in advance for the weird dreams this offal will inspire. I had a few doozies last night, let me tell you!
For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.
This gem is called “Taxidermy Ducky Dump Osama Bin Laden.” I am not making that up.
And to keep the Dumpy Duck company, here are some tasteful toilet paper earrings.
When you’re bored, search for “cat sweater” on Etsy. You won’t be disappointed.
Of course, a search for “cat sweater” also turns up some of these. I love the murderous look on the cat’s face.
Hate your neighbors? This Cher lawn ornament should keep them away.
How much would you have to despise someone to give them “Colin the Colon?”
These eye scorchers are called “Two Original Angel Nude paintings on Linen Napkins.” I blame the parents.
Expecting hilarity, I did a search for “frog,” but I was unprepared for these dissected frog shoes.
I used to like elephants. Used to.
This Darth Vader dildo is maybe the worst thing I’ve ever seen. Well played, Etsy.
These are referred to as “upcycled.” I don’t think that means what you think it means.
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My OBT 
July 1, 2014 at 11:18 am
Well that’s all my shopping done for Christmas this year! 😉
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July 1, 2014 at 2:26 pm
Very glad I’m not on your list!
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July 1, 2014 at 2:27 pm
ah…. {grabs pen to cross name off list} … shame that. You were getting my most favourite one too! 😀
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July 1, 2014 at 2:32 pm
Please tell me it’s not the elephant.
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July 1, 2014 at 2:34 pm
Damn. Guessed first time!
I’m too obvious aren’t I? I give off clues. {sigh}. tsk tsk.
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July 1, 2014 at 2:36 pm
Yike.
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July 1, 2014 at 11:36 am
Outstandingly awful! I love your “meh-chandise.”
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July 1, 2014 at 2:26 pm
Thank you! It was a very fun search.
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July 1, 2014 at 12:15 pm
The mind boggles.
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July 1, 2014 at 2:27 pm
I should do a follow up in 6 months to see whether any of it sold.
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July 1, 2014 at 6:11 pm
Too awesome for words. Thank you for this!
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July 1, 2014 at 6:14 pm
Thank you, though I disagree. It’s not that it’s too awesome for words, it’s that most of the words that come to mind are very, very rude.
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July 1, 2014 at 6:17 pm
Good point. And I try to make a point of not putting too many of those words on the internet with my identity attached to them. Trying to clean up my act online!
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July 1, 2014 at 6:33 pm
Me, too! (Says the woman who just entitled a post “Shitshow.”)
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July 1, 2014 at 9:27 pm
Hep me Jebus – there is so much beautiful artwork out there. Thanks, Donna! It’s kinda like the people of Walmart but in 3-d, knowwhutimean?
This, my dear, is Kramergoldstandard. Fo sho. I needed that, thanks again!
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July 1, 2014 at 9:32 pm
Thanks, love! I’m thrilled you liked it!
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July 2, 2014 at 12:04 am
Can’t unsee dildo.
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July 2, 2014 at 11:00 am
Dawn, funny you say that. I was thinking about that very object this morning, that’s the one that stuck in my head. Like why? Are there Vader fetishists? NOT that I want to know the answer. Forget I even asked.
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July 2, 2014 at 11:01 am
The less said about Darth the better.
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October 16, 2014 at 12:27 pm
O M G I am not even going there, Darth Vader. I give this 2 what-the-everlovn-Fs. Well done.
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October 16, 2014 at 2:34 pm
Thank you! It’s really the highlight of my week.
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August 18, 2015 at 7:29 am
“I used to like elephants.” Ha!
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August 18, 2015 at 8:21 am
I wrote that with you in mind!
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