Had this thing NOT been made, adorably of old-timey-looking oak and had it not been called a Hootenanny, I might have missed it entirely.

“The Self-Contained Hootenanny is the autonomous mechanical band that uses 17 instruments built into its cabinet to generate a verifiable shin-dig.” Hammacher Schlemmer

Sporting a handcrafted oak cabinet 6/5 feet tall, this is not your grandfather’s jukebox. The instruments within are played by precisely calibrated pneumatics that strike and strum and pluck and tap out your favorite songs. You select from its 13,000 songs using the 15″ touchscreen.  In addition to snare and bass drums and cymbals, the percussion section also has  a tambourine, bongos, woodblocks, maracas, and, of course, cowbell.

I find the arrangements kind of adorable in a Disney ride sort of way, and I do enjoy a shin-dig, but I also can’t imagine playing more than 1 song per visitor. I can see it getting annoying pretty quickly. Which is fine, because at $54K, I’m in no danger of purchasing one anytime soon.

After watching that gem, I had to see what other crazy items HS sells, and I came across this fabulous item which I would completely buy if I had $300K hanging around. It seems Hammacher Schlemmer has turned quite a lot of their focus on the rich recluse market. What could go wrong?