For all of you ecologically-conscious pimps out there, here’s a green faux fur creation. (To be fair, most of this maker’s hats are lovely. Just not this one.)

I don’t know why she’s looking so judgy. This “Peppermint fascinator,” while smaller than the cartoon-dimensioned wad of wool to the left, still manages to be way, way too much. And if that’s real peppermint, it would also attract ants.

If the designer really wanted to make this bird and nest hat realistic, she should have included some rubber bird droppings down the back. Also, she’s kind of reminding me of Kristen Schaal, bird and all.

As goofy as that vintage fruit hat is, this modernized version is really not much of an improvement. I do love how they styled her, though. Look at those perfect eyebrows! 

What makes this adult-sized fish hat hilarious to me is not just how dopey it is. It’s also the complete humorlessness of the woman wearing it, who is either the designer or owes the designer money. 

Presumably, the inspiration for this thing was something smelly viewed through a microscope. I especially love the little yellow lace bow, because that makes it all better, doesn’t it? 

I’m not going to tell you what this looks to me like a pile of.  I’m just going to say it’s a good thing it’s not brown.