What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume XVI: Making a Mis-Statement


statement 0

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

Statement necklaces are this goofy trend that suggests you can casually pair the crown jewels with a t-shirt and dirty sweatpants and magically look effortlessly chic (see picture right, which is definitely NOT me). Though I’m no Iris Apfel, I think I’m finally getting the hang of the statement necklace trend, thank goodness. My early efforts looked more like I was a housekeeper trying on the missus’ jewels while I cleaned her bathroom.

Even little miss Mayhem is getting in on the act!

Even little miss Mayhem, who was the subject of my very first post, is getting in on the act!

When I was crafting last week’s Etsomnia wedding issue, I did a search for “wedding statement necklace,” and the statement I most often uttered was “AAAAAAHHHHH!” The results were so dramatic and nutty, I decided statement jewelry needed its own post. So here it is in all its gaudy, goofy, giddy glory. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed researching it, which was a lot.

Links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

statement 1

Materials: dirty silver, fake amber, germs.
Statement: This is what happens when you shop drunk on vacation

statement 2

Materials: glass pearls, vintage crap jewelry, deep sadness.
Statement: I miss my Gran

statement 3

Materials: plastic, frozen spiders, pokey stuff.
Statement: Keep Out

statement 4

Materials: feathers, plastic rhinestones, bubble gum.
Statement: I still play with my Barbies every day

statement 5

Materials: Fire, uranium, traffic cones.
Statement: I put hot sauce on everything

statement 6

Materials: chains, small tools, ex-boyfriend’s dreadlocks.
Statement: Ready for anything

statement 7

Materials: brass, dental floss, contents of junk drawer.
Statement: I’m wearing hemp underwear

Materials: kindergarten artwork, cat hair, paper clips. Statement: My house is filled with tiny plastic dinosaurs

Materials: kindergarten artwork, mommy juice, rusty paper clips.
Statement: My house is filled with tiny plastic dinosaurs

statement 10

Materials: felt, tears, irony.
Statement: I skype with my cat daily

statement 8a

Materials: rhinestones, ribbon, unicorn dandruff.
Statement: My ideal man is a Brony (Disclaimer: I actually love this one, I just think it’s too immature to actually wear)

statement 9

Materials: Every bead in the world, fishing line, hydraulics.
Statement: I am trying too hard

statement 11

Materials: Barbie, ribbon, malice aforethought.
Statement: This is a cry for help

statement 12

Materials: lace, chain, romantic frustration.
Statement: I have read all the Twilight books. Twice.
(Love this one, too. Just can’t resist a Twilight joke!)

statement 13

Materials: fringe, weird beads, naps.
Statement: Surprise! I’m not a mannequin!

Materials: the bargain bin at the local vintage store, hot glue, profound misunderstanding of human anatomy. Statement: I skipped my Ritalin today

Materials: vintage store bargain bin, hot glue, profound misunderstanding of human anatomy.
Statement: I ran out of Ritalin.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

29 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XVI: Making a Mis-Statement

  1. KILLING! ME! OMG, WHAT- in the name of all things – could be better than your interpretive statements? Really, WHAT!? Also, there really was not ONE thing, ok maybe just one (that burgundy lace Twighlight-reader necklace – and NO I did not read ANY of them), that I was even remotely tempted to peek at (for pricing – and, her stuff is not horrible!). 🙂

    Have I said before that I am now addicted to these? They are like Christmas every week! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your statements improved the enjoyment of these necklaces immensely.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You cheered up my day! ;-))

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The phrase “profound misunderstanding of human anatomy” is a gem!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I actually have something similar to the hemp underwear one. My son gave it to me when he was six or seven. He picked it out himself. I wore it once or twice after he gave it to me but I still have it. In a box in the top of my closet.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Laughing hysterically. But I do love the one you’re rocking in the first picture. Brilliant, timely, sarcastic!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Statement: this may be my favorite Etsomania yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Spectacular bylines today. Bravo!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Oh MAN!! These are so bad they’re —no they’re horrible. (Haha).
    You rule♥︎

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Awesome. I’m now commenting via my phone but on Safari (because my app crashed dead again)!! For some reason, I swear it’s not scapegoating, it’s affecting my posting. I’ve been too self-conscious and weirded out to post my last three posts and they’re rotting away in draft form… I’ve lost my flow! My groove! (If I ever had any!) the app is easier than computer-posting for me, in getting away from over-self-awareness, don’t ask me exactly why. @mattmullenweg: fix the app!! Donna, wld u write me? My email is <> Thanks!! With Admiration Always♡ lisa


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