My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume XXII: A Leg to Stand On

6 Comments

Unless you're married to a copy, I don't recommend wearing these on a date. I bought three pairs. By Komawo

Unless you’re married to a cop, I don’t recommend wearing these on a date. (I bought three pairs.) By Komawo

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

I decided that Etsy critique didn’t feel right on Christmas day, so Etsomnia day is coming a little early this week!

Since it’s tights and boots weather, this week’s Etsomnia is all about winter leg and footwear, the good, the bad, and the (really) ugly.

For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

I'm not going to lie. Ever since I saw Flashdance in 1983, I've loved leg warmers. I don't wear them, but I love the idea of them. Until now. By natalya1905 who clearly missed the warming part of the name

I’m not going to lie. Ever since I saw Flashdance in 1983, I’ve loved leg warmers. I don’t wear them, but I love the idea of them. Until now. The poor seller is trying really hard to get legwarmers as summer wear to catch on (and failing)

Are you looking at ME? By the presumably creepy colinedesign

Are you looking at ME? Rockwell would have hated them.

"Upcycled" is one of those Etsy buzzwords that never fails to deliver complete lipstick on a pig. By ChicksKicks

“Upcycled” is one of those Etsy buzzwords that never fails to deliver complete lipstick on a pig.

"Designed For You A Pleasantly Ugg" Ugh is more like it. By BerilUnal

“Designed For You A Pleasantly Ugg.” Ugh is more like it.

"Leggings" is another search term fraught with peril, but it also pulls up beauties like these super-cute fringed thingies. By Almogdesigns who unfortunately also sells these

“Leggings” is another search term fraught with peril, but it also pulls up beauties like these super-cute fringed thingies.
By the same seller who makes the gray full-diaper thing on the left.

How terrified do you need to be of camel toe to choose something like this? Also by Almogdesigns

No, these are not on backward, and yes, they are her size. How terrified do you need to be of camel toe to make this legwear choice?

Don't cross your legs in these babies, or you'll end up looking like this. By BikinisParadise

You have to be very careful crossing your legs in these babies, or you’ll end up looking like this.

These wonderful ombre tights are much more my speed (and less likely to cause blood loss). By Virivee

These wonderful ombre tights are much more my speed (and less likely to cause blood loss than the rhinestone hose). By Virivee

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! By KOMAWO who does not own any clothing free of cat hair

What a relief! I was worried what I was going to wear to New York’s first Cat Cafe!

These horrifying creations are called "Gorgeous Designer Lace Up Corset Style Crystal Embelished Knee-High Fuax Snake Skin/Fur Washed Denim High Heel Boots" That does pretty well sum it up, minus the first two words. By the deluded ParrotAndPunchbowl

These horrifying creations are called “Gorgeous Designer Lace Up Corset Style Crystal Embelished Knee-High Fuax Snake Skin/Fur Washed Denim High Heel Boots” That does pretty well sum it up, minus the first two words.

Whew! That's better! By Hurstvonberg from Beaverton, OR!

Whew! That’s better! By Hurstvonberg from Beaverton, OR!

Ugly Christmas sweaters too subtle for you? Well why not pair them with these leggings? By AmandaSmithLtv who has gone so hard with the hipster irony, not even she knows if she's joking

Ugly Christmas sweaters too subtle for you? Well why not pair them with these leggings? This seller has gone so hard with the hipster irony, not even she knows if she’s joking

These $538* made-to-order bison boots are so ugly, they should come with multiple pairs of blindfolds for you to pass out to anyone you're going to be around for more than a minute. By SoulPathShoes Turns out that $538 is only the base price for the 3-button variety.

These $538* made-to-order bison boots are so ugly, they should come with blindfolds to prevent corneal damage in anyone you’re going to be around for more than a minute. *By the way, $538 is only the base price for the 3-button variety. Does that mean these foot offenses cost triple that amount?

As bad as these are, they're still not as bad as those horrors to the left. By HandPaintedBoots

As bad as these are, they’re still not as bad as those bison things.

I'm not sure the message these are sending is romantic, exactly, but heart-shaped knee pads are certainly, um, welcoming? By Limanda who gets asked out A LOT

I’m not sure the message these are sending is romantic, exactly, but heart-shaped knee pads would certainly get you asked out A LOT

These are a cute idea, but they could lead to some really awkward situations on the subway. By colinedesign

These are a cute idea, but they could lead to some really awkward situations with lost tourists on the subway. By colinedesign

Kids, these are called Moon Boots, and people used to pay a small fortune for them! Sold by HarlowGirls

Kids, these are called Moon Boots, and people used to pay a small fortune for them! Aren’t they awful? Sold by HarlowGirls

leg 16

Outside of Japan where crazy fashion is alive and well, these light-up disasters have never been in fashion, and presumably never will be.

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

6 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XXII: A Leg to Stand On

  1. This is a fantastic mix of horrid and fabulous! Now if you’ll excuse me I must go order the police tape leggings…cop hubby may enjoy! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am going to have nightmares about those “Gorgeous Designer” boots. Thank you. Holy mother of god, what was that “designer” thinking?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. i want the fringe pants. but i know only someone tall can pull them off. i think i would look like a Shetland pony.

    Liked by 1 person

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