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Etsomnia™ Volume XXIV: Decoupage Madness

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Decoupaged "Reimagined Stiletto Boot Handbag" by TwoRebelBelles who suffers from a slight Pat Benatar fetish

Decoupaged “Reimagined Stiletto Boot Handbag” whose maker suffers from a slight Pat Benatar fetish.

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

De·cou·page (/dāko͞oˈpäZH/), noun, 1. the art or craft of decorating objects with paper cut-outs. 2. gluing junk on other junk.

Thursday is Etsomnia day! (I really feel like that needs a jingle. Don’t you think?)

I have, on occasion, been known to make the odd decoupaged item (including the world’s most fabulous metallic gold vintage pinup-covered refrigerator which I still can’t believe I never photographed), so I don’t automatically assume all such items are crap. However, I had a feeling that Etsy would deliver some hilarious tragedies if I looked hard enough, and once again, Etsy didn’t disappoint. What follows are the good, the bad, and the what-on-earth-were-they-thinking.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Here's a great example. I don't dislike the comics decoupaged on the letters, but BEANO? Why would anyone want that in their house? By CupAndSaucerUK who should really lay off the lactose

I don’t dislike the comics decoupaged on the letters, but BEANO? Why would anyone want that in their house? (Yes, I get that it’s a comic in the U.K., but it’s also a gas reliever there, so I stand by my critique.)

This little comic-covered end table, however, is adorable! By Indianas, who can decorate my furniture anytime!

This little comic-covered end table is adorable and is in no way reminiscent of digestive distress! By Indianas, who can decorate my furniture anytime!

Okay, it's kind of a cute idea, but cute or not, who wants a rotary phone? By LoveKittyPink

Okay, it’s quite a cute idea, and the execution is flawless, but cute or not, why would anyone want a rotary phone? By LoveKittyPink

Etsy has quite a selection of creepy decoupaged wig heads for sale. I can’t imagine why.

No. Just no. By the unpronounceable Huebschke

Great job, but can you imagine serving appetizers on this thing? I can’t.

There’s so much wrong with this, the decoupage is really the least of its problems.

I never include two pieces by the same "artist," but these were both so tragic, it was impossible to choose my favorite. Another eyesore by StuffOfBeauty

And here’s another I rarely include two pieces by the same “artist,” but these were both so tragic, it was impossible to choose.

These are so beautiful, I nearly wept when I saw them. Yum! By MadEnvy

These are so beautiful, I nearly wept when I saw them. Yum!

These also made me weep, but not for joy. By MadEnvy, if you can imagine

Same artist, different end of the spectrum. They also made me weep, just not for joy.

Here's something you don't see every day: multiple-personality furniture: "Stellar Steampunk Teleportation Telephone Table" by ThumbPrintz

Here’s something you don’t see every day: furniture with multiple-personalities: “Stellar Steampunk Teleportation Telephone Table.”

Hate your co-worker? Here's the perfect passive-aggressive way to communicate that! Decoupage clipboard which smacks of art therapy by WonderBarrel

Hate your co-worker? Here’s the perfect passive-aggressive way to express your distaste!

Now THIS is a creative use of decoupage! Absolutely stunning cabinet by TrashyTrend

Now THIS is a creative use of decoupage! Absolutely stunning cabinet by TrashyTrend

$3,000 decoupaged mannequin.

6-foot-tall $3,000 decoupaged mannequin. Sure, she could get you into the HOV lane, but so could this, with significantly less creep factor.

To quote Tim Gunn (again), that's a lot of look. Not entirely unattractive but very busy little hat by Discombobulous

This maker hasn’t yet learned that as with many other crafts, the trick to successful decoupage is knowing when to stop. Not entirely unattractive but still unwearable busy little hat.

And here's an even busier hat box to keep your crazy hat dust-free. By 2Lewa, who hasn't yet learned when to stop decoupaging

And here’s an even busier hat box to keep your crazy hat dust-free. This reminds me of one of those find-the-object computer games.

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Author: Donna from One Beautiful Thing

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

6 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XXIV: Decoupage Madness

  1. Bruce Thiesen's avatar

    Indianas has something going on.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. memadtwo's avatar

    You always make me chuckle.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. LVital7019's avatar

    Now I want those Aquaman pumps…! Some of those things I REALLY had to look closely at to figure out WHERE the item was; i.e. that “stiletto purse” and the “hat”. Oy!

    Liked by 1 person

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