What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume XXVIII: Awkward V-Day Cards


By TuxPress


Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

When you care enough to send the very best?

Beloved and I really get into giving each other funny cards. On birthdays and holidays, we each give the other between 3 and 6 cards. This is why I consider myself something of a greeting card expert. Not surprisingly, Etsy sellers’ funny Valentine’s Day selections run the gamut from awesomely funny I-don’t-care-what-shipping-costs cards to so-terrible-I’m-posting-it-on-my-Facebook-wall cards, and I’m here to celebrate the lot!

Some are so full of awesome that they made my brain explode. Others are full of something else. For example, here is something so offensive, I lacked the nerve to post a picture. Click if you must, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Warning: things get a little rude below, so if you’re easily offended, go rewatch the funny cat video instead!

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

By DebbieDrawsFunny

Mawwiage, that dweam wiffin a dweam . . . By DebbieDrawsFunny

And on the other end of the spectrum, here's a card I never, ever want to get or give. By JadeCourtPaper

. . . at least not with each other. By JadeCourtPaper

Really quite funny office-appropriate card. By FinchAndHare

I used to enjoy getting anonymous cards from secret admirers . . . By FinchAndHare

Why am I so obsessed with Golden Girls? By SeasAndPeas

You know this doesn’t get you out of buying actual flowers, right? By SeasAndPeas

 By PinwheelPrintShop

<whistling innocently . . . > By PinwheelPrintShop

Appropriate for any occasion! By VoxLiterati

I have been known to say this to suitors. By PixiesAndPorcupines

I have actually said this to discourage hopeful suitors. By PixiesAndPorcupines

Too soon? By KnottyCards

Now THERE's a sentiment that needs to be cross-stitched onto a pillow. By CheekyKumquat

Now THERE’s a sentiment that needs to be cross-stitched onto a pillow. By CheekyKumquat

Seinfeld fans will love this one. By LemonWoodImprints

If you look hard enough, you will find every old TV joke you ever loved on Etsy. By LemonWoodImprints

As a middle-aged woman, I know just what this means, and I thoroughly appreciate the sentiment. By SadShop

This one is in case you want to send a card FROM Sheldon. By BestPlayerEver

Well, anyway, contact with SOME humans. By BestPlayerEver

How would you respond to a card like this? Ironically, sold by PoundDesigns

At least your message is clear. Ironically, sold by PoundDesigns

Because it's the thought that counts, isn't it? By RuthiesMagicalCamera

Because it’s the thought that counts, isn’t it? WRONG.

On the one hand, Shakespeare! On the other hand . . . By BrooklynAnimal

Thoughtful AND informative! By PixiesAndPorcupines

This is depressing. By EmilyMcDowellDraws

Worst Valentine’s Day card ever.

Aww, that's so . . . wait a minute . . . WHAT? By JadeCourtPaper

Aww, that’s so . . . hang on . . . WHAT? By JadeCourtPaper

If there were any way to get this in time for V-Day, it would be mine. By WeArePaperPlane

If there were any way to get this in time for V-Day, it would be mine. By WeArePaperPlane

I am starting to understand why some people hate that word. I love that the card is posed with a handcuff. By CrimsonAndCloverCard

Um, thank you? By CrimsonAndCloverCard

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

10 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XXVIII: Awkward V-Day Cards

  1. Oh, I did have the nerve to click . . . coffee snorted through my nose! I am married – almost thirty years, now – to a lovely Jewish man and I am German. As he’s fond of reminding our family, my maiden name ends in “SS.” If I could get that card in time, it would be “mein!”

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I read these for the captions more than anything else.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love these!!! Hodor and the dance moves one are probably my favorite.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Aw, I LOVE emily mcdowell!! (so I gotta disagree w/that one—my bf *is* the only one I’d lie in bed with, while totally being on my cellphone — I think modern-age romantic…but it does irritate him!) AWESOME JOB this week! So many are just awful! And yet I liked some of them too—you got some conversions for some of these sellers! (Good deed /the day—kudos again!) I love the Seinfeld sponge-worthy, and actually the so-grody-it’s-good jellyfish one! And the dance moves + grumpy (i ♡ SadShop!) are CUTE!! But MAN, the extra-moist (yukkk), the balls—just, EWWWWWW. And others yet are soooo mean-spirited : “Miss you ’til you’re here”— REALLY? Why give a card for that? (Oh & what’s “hodor”?)
    All-around, highly enjoyable!!! Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you, Lisa! I’m so glad you liked it. Hodor is a Game of Thrones reference. There’s a mentally-challenged character named Hodor who can only say the word “Hodor.” It’s a great idea for a card.


What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.