Etsomnia™ Volume XL: Mother’s Day Madness

May 7, 2015 by Donna from MyOBT 29 Comments

When you care enough to give the very least. By RubysRubbish, who clearly has some mommy issues to work out

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

This week’s Etsomnia post is for the moms out there. Those lovely folks over at Etsy really like to make helpful gift suggestions, and per usual, some of the items on their supposedly-curated Mother’s Day gift list are so out there, so terrible, so hilariously off base, I couldn’t resist them.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Hey, kids, guess what this part of your body is called! Wrong, it’s your Big Tubular Neckwear. Not to be confused with Little Tubular Neckwear. I suspect the seller probably works here

As Mother’s Day gifts go, this is pretty awesome. Portrait by SimpsonsArt

Does Mom like hats? Well, I bet she won’t like this “Easter Bunny Rabbit Flower Crown Statement Piece!” But, hey, it’s on sale ($115.80), and you know how she loves a bargain!

I think this fringed floral fanny pack (with pom-poms!) qualifies as elder abuse. By BeksiesBoutique

I think this fringed floral fanny pack (now with pom-poms!) qualifies as elder abuse.

Has your mother been strength-training her neck? Then this 20-lb necklace is just the thing!

This is on the first page of Mother’s Day gifts in the clothing section. Dude.

“Antique German Bisque Snow Baby Figurine with Sleepy Dolly Eye. Mother’s Day Fun.” In my head, that is read in a German accent. German accents make everything funnier, don’t you think?

As much as I usually dislike those necklaces with different birthstones for each child, this nest with different colored pearl eggs is actually pretty cool. By MomsMagicJewelry

As much as I usually dislike those necklaces with the birthstone of each child, this nest with different colored pearl eggs is actually kind of sweet. By MomsMagicJewelry

“Oh, how sweet! You got me a card . . . DEAR GOD WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT DOG?”

Nothing says Mother’s Day like a little taxiderpy.

“Mom, I saw this and thought of you.” Let me give you a tip. No woman, no matter what her age, wants to receive this thing as a gift. Sure, she might be happy to have it when she’s watching QVC in the middle of the night while sobbing into a Costco-sized box of Entenmann’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, but she doesn’t want you to know that.

Since you’ (yes, you!) are the reason mommy drinks, you may as well help her do it in style. By LocaDesign

This just in! I was looking around for other Etsy posts this morning and I came across this beauty. What a great idea! It’s a printable of everything you need to fancy up Mom’s breakfast in bed. Kudos to seller/blogger Claudia Owen for coming up with such a lovely idea!