My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume XL: Mother’s Day Madness

29 Comments

When you care enough to give the very least. By RubysRubbish, who clearly has some mommy issues to work out

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

This week’s Etsomnia post is for the moms out there. Those lovely folks over at Etsy really like to make helpful gift suggestions, and per usual, some of the items on their supposedly-curated Mother’s Day gift list are so out there, so terrible, so hilariously off base, I couldn’t resist them.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

This enchanting item is listed as

Hey, kids, guess what this part of your body is called! Wrong, it’s your Big Tubular Neckwear. Not to be confused with Little Tubular Neckwear. I suspect the seller probably works here

As Mother's Day gifts go, this is pretty awesome. Portrait by SimpsonsArt

As Mother’s Day gifts go, this is pretty awesome. Portrait by SimpsonsArt

Does Mom like hats? Then how about this

Does Mom like hats? Well, I bet she won’t like this “Easter Bunny Rabbit Flower Crown Statement Piece!” But, hey, it’s on sale ($115.80), and you know how she loves a bargain! 

I think this fringed floral fanny pack (with pom-poms!) qualifies as elder abuse. By BeksiesBoutique

I think this fringed floral fanny pack (now with pom-poms!) qualifies as elder abuse. 

Has your mother been strength-training her neck? Then this 20-lb necklace is just the thing! By NiniqueDesigns

Has your mother been strength-training her neck? Then this 20-lb necklace is just the thing! 

This is on the first page of Mothers' Day gifts in the clothing section. Dude. By BurntThreadz

This is on the first page of Mother’s Day gifts in the clothing section. Dude. 

“Antique German Bisque Snow Baby Figurine with Sleepy Dolly Eye. Mother’s Day Fun.” In my head, that is read in a German accent. German accents make everything funnier, don’t you think? 

As much as I usually dislike those necklaces with different birthstones for each child, this nest with different colored pearl eggs is actually pretty cool. By MomsMagicJewelry

As much as I usually dislike those necklaces with the birthstone of each child, this nest with different colored pearl eggs is actually kind of sweet. By MomsMagicJewelry

“Oh, how sweet! You got me a card . . . DEAR GOD WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT DOG?” 

Nothing says Mother's Day like a little taxiderpy. By VintageBooksAndArt

Nothing says Mother’s Day like a little taxiderpy. 

“Mom, I saw this and thought of you.” Let me give you a tip. No woman, no matter what her age, wants to receive this thing as a gift. Sure, she might be happy to have it when she’s watching QVC in the middle of the night while sobbing into a Costco-sized box of Entenmann’s Chocolate Chip Cookies, but she doesn’t want you to know that. 

Since you’ (yes, you!) are the reason mommy drinks, you may as well help her do it in style. By LocaDesign

This just in! I was looking around for other Etsy posts this morning and I came across this beauty. What a great idea! It's a printable of everything you need to fancy up Mom's breakfast in bed. Kudos to seller/blogger Claudia Owen for coming up with such a lovely idea!

This just in! I was looking around for other Etsy posts this morning and I came across this beauty. What a great idea! It’s a printable of everything you need to fancy up Mom’s breakfast in bed. Kudos to seller/blogger Claudia Owen for coming up with such a lovely idea!

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

29 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume XL: Mother’s Day Madness

  1. Oh there was some classic stuff on there! That kaftan flatters no-one. I also had to laugh at the ‘fanny pack’ firstly because it was vile and secondly because a ‘fanny’ in the UK is a lady’s privates! The only thing I did like was the Simpson Art picture, I thought that was great

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fanny packs went out of fashion for a reason: they’re hideous! And how in the world did the Dude tee pop up on the Mothers Day page? Etsy needs to rework its algorithm.

    Wonderfully entertaining selection for my morning cuppa, Donna. Thanks, as always!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ll have the flask pls! Cheers and happy Mothers Day to all the moms!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank Christ we’ve had our Mother’s Day in the UK lest the husband gets any ideas and decides to reverse his ‘we don’t do that shit’ Mothers Day philosophy. O_o

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wow! I feel like I’m living under a rock. I’ve never been on Esty before; clearly, I’m missing out on some interesting things that would piss my mother off. Thanks for the last minute gift ideas!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. My mom would like the caftan. She loves bright colors and is always cold. So glad my child prefers to cook rather than shop. Also glad he’s learned that food coloring is not a necessary ingredient for scrambled eggs.
    Happy Mother’s Day!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. My younger son went through a phase when he called me “dude.” Maybe that explains the shirt. And to be fair, he called pretty much everyone dude.

    As for the hat, why would one wear a rabbit on one’s head? Who are these sartorially challenged people and is there some sort of non-profit to provide them with help?

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Good grief. Some of these could launch a war. A protracted, painful war.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I actually find the Simpsons portrait to be quite fun – though I don’t know what I would do with it – and I rather like the nest of pearls as an on-theme gift. The rest of it ranges from the meh to the bizarre to the hideous. That “sculpture” with the grubby old ornament conjoined with the doll’s eye is the stuff that would improve a lot of contemporary horror movies.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Is the German Snow Baby with Sleepy Eye available with super duper rush shipping? Can I possibly get it by Sunday to give to my mom while we enjoy schnitzel? What a find!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Thank you for including my Mother’s Day printable Donna 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Pingback: Etsomnia™ Volume XXXX: Mother’s Day Madness | The Grateful Red Studio

  13. Wow, I (almost) have no words. This is one of the best things I’ve ever seen – if only we still had mother’s day to look forward to here in the UK! My mum would be getting so many crap presents….

    Liked by 1 person

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.