Etsomnia™ Volume XLVIII: Animal Crackers

July 9, 2015 by Donna from MyOBT 10 Comments

What’s more sexy than a naked mole rat costume? How about a naked mole rat in a box?

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

This week’s Etsy send-up is about the animal kingdom in all its Etsy glory; the beasts of the field, the denizens of the jungle, creatures that crawl and dig and skitter, and even about man’s best friend. (No, not Krispy Kreme donuts. The OTHER best friend.)

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts.

Epilogue: I have to tell you that between last week’s patriotic junk, the previous week’s creepy dolls, and the atrocities below, Etsy’s suggestions for me have taken a turn for the weird. That is all.

Aye-aye have to give it to them. This is pretty funny. By NerdyLittleStitcher

Aye-aye have to give them credit. This is pretty funny. By NerdyLittleStitcher

Stop looking at me like that. CUT IT OUT. Fine. I’ll say it. The cutest felted penguin in the world. By ScratchCraft

I guess we should be grateful that CaspersCreatures isn't doing this to humans. That we know of.

I guess we should be grateful that this seller isn’t doing this to humans. That we know of.

Sheesh. To be fair, California Condors are pretty ugly to begin with. By CanyonWrensNest

This thing is so ugly, it looks like a Skeksi from “The Dark Crystal, and that is NOT a compliment. To be fair, California Condors are pretty ugly to begin with.

That's okay. I'll just sit in the dark. By Amabyss

That’s okay. I’d rather just sit in the dark.

When I searched for “cat sweater,” I was not expecting this “Cindy Brady Velour Cat Shirt.”

$250 will buy you this sculpture of a rabbit with loose morals. By Malbers2

$250 gets you this sculpture of a rabbit with loose morals.

“Booby in a Hat.” [Insert joke here.]

These are the most useless gloves I’ve ever seen, and I have seen a lot of stupid gloves.

Finally! 'Upcycled' isn't code for 'crap!' By RecycledArtCo

Finally! ‘Upcycled’ isn’t synonymous with ‘crap!’ By RecycledArtCo

“Johnny Cow School Portrait.”

Completely unusable coat rack. Also, could you close your legs, please? I can see your horsicles.

Hello, friends. Are you tired, run-down, listless? Do you poop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well this warthog hat is NOT the answer to all your problems. By HimalayaHardware

Hello, friends. Are you tired, run-down, listless? Do you poop out at parties? Are you unpoopular? Well this warthog hat is NOT going to help one bit.