My OBT

What if you spent every day looking for One Beautiful Thing?

Etsomnia™ Volume 52: Just For You!

24 Comments

Have your very own head on a stick! Custom golf club cover by Puppetsinabag

Get your very own head on a stick! Custom golf club cover by Puppetsinabag

Et·som·ni·a (/etˈsämnēə/), noun, 1. a sleep disorder caused by obsessive Etsy browsing. 2. the surprising arrival of weird handmade merchandise ordered when one is only half conscious. (True story.)

During my weekly Etsy searches for things to amuse you (and me), I come across all manner of bizarre, custom-made, personalized items in the most unexpected places. Thanks to Etsy, you can now have clothing, artwork, furniture, toys, and even weapons made to your specifications. So this week, we are exploring the wacky world of Etsy custom listings.

As usual, links to the items for sale appear below each picture. For more Etsy fun, check out all my weekly Etsomnia™ posts. Follow me on Bloglovin!

$150

$150 “custom” Swiss cheese cake topper. Oh, and it’s not even edible.

PeacefulFashions calls this a floor-length hand-painted wedding gown. It should be called a 2-floor-length dress.

The designer calls this a floor-length hand-painted wedding gown. Perhaps they meant the floor below.

Absolutely adorable personalized felt wall art. By KJsWorkshop

Absolutely adorable personalized felt wall art. By KJsWorkshop

Personalized penis. I kid you not. By BadJamminMammie

Same shape as the rocket ship, and yet so different. This is a personalized penis. I kid you not. By BadJamminMammie

EyeCandies101 will customize this awesome stormtrooper spoon with any engraving you like. But why would you want it to say anything else?

EyeCandies101 will customize this awesome stormtrooper spoon with any engraving you like. But why would you want it to say anything else?

These

These “awesome corduroy pants for men” will be custom made just for you. Don’t you feel lucky! 

Of course the internet is full of makers who will create a custom bobblehead from a picture, but it takes Etsy to make it this special. By Dolls2U

Of course the internet is full of sellers who will make you a bobblehead from a photo, but it takes Etsy to make it this awkward.

This, believe it or not, is a belt. I know. Go look at the pictures. It's worse than you think. By PocketBookBelts

This is a belt for adults made of pockets cut from children’s clothing, or, as they call them at the FBI, trophies.

Cat pillow made from your pet's photo. You know what this would be great for? Aspiring-but-allergic cat ladies! All the cats, but none of the smell! By GoGAGA4Art

Cat pillow made from your pet’s photo. You know what this would be great for? Aspiring-but-allergic cat ladies! All the cats, but none of the smell! By GoGAGA4Art

Here's a custom hip bag made of not-at-all-smelly items like sinew, skin, and bone. Not sure what kind of dead stuff you'd like on yours? Don't worry. Seller Deiadorebel will

Here’s a custom hip bag made of not-at-all-smelly items like sinew, skin, and bone. Not sure what kind of dead stuff you’d like on yours? Don’t worry. The seller will “intuitively “craft one for you

Yes, yes, a million times yes! By ArkhamPrints

Yes, yes, a million times yes! By ArkhamPrints

Do you think they mean THIS Miss Roxy? By MIVintageDeals

Do you think they mean THIS Miss Roxy

LaPolena is dying to make you one of these horrible Venetian mask necklaces. Don't encourage her. She'll just make more

LaPolena is dying to make you one of these horrible Venetian mask necklaces. Don’t encourage her. She’ll just make more.

Is your family kind of hairy? Is your baby a lump with a head? Then why not commission one of these felted portraits by ShimaFiberArt?

Is your family kind of hairy? Is your baby essentially a lump with a single arm, a large head, and Elvis hair? Then why not commission a felted portrait?

And on the complete opposite end of the spectrum, how adorable is this personalized family mobile? I want to get one for every family I know! By PinkCheeksStudios

And on the complete opposite end of the spectrum from the felted portrait, how adorable is this personalized family mobile? I want to get one for every family I know! By PinkCheeksStudios

This would take all the fun out of the murder investigation. Personalized bowie knive by AllOccasionsAndMore

My signature is terrible, so i think i may just get this one. Not sure what Lie'fs Bea is, but it sounds like fun. By CarolPersonalized

Signature bracelet. My handwriting is terrible, so I think I may just get this one. Not sure who Lie’fs Bea is, but she sounds like fun! By CarolPersonalized

Did you ever say someone was so cute you wanted to eat them up? Well, now you can! Custom cookie cutter by CopyPastry

Food prepared by anyone wearing this unspeakably awful Grateful Dead-themed apron is likely to include a currently-illegal (at least in NY) secret ingredient. By ShakedownStitches

If the cook is wearing this unspeakably awful Grateful Dead-themed apron and you’re driving home, don’t eat the brownies. 

Super villains and rich people take note. You can have yourself painted like a complete ponce! By TopPortraitArt

Super villains and obnoxiously pretentious people take note: You can have yourself painted like a complete ponce (Or Fred Armisen)! 

Author: Donna from MyOBT

I have committed to spending part of every day looking for at least one beautiful thing, and sharing what I find with you lovelies!

24 thoughts on “Etsomnia™ Volume 52: Just For You!

  1. Preeettty sure the Calvin & Hobbes sneakers are a copyright infringement…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear God, whatever next? I like the bracelet and the family mobile, That ‘Elvis’ baby is freakish and the ancestor type portrait a bit pretentious. What’s with that swiss cheese thing?! As for the penis,, well, you would have to be a bit of a ‘dick’ to order one of those!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Love the Calvin & Hobbes sneakers and the one-eyed monster penis sock.
    Some funny stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I love those Converse sneakers, and I know someone (family member) who is obnoxiously pretentious and I could see them in that last photo. Maybe I should send them the link…no, I’d better not because I would not be able to contain myself when I walked in their house and was bombarded by a gigantic pretentious family portrait.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I want a portrait of me as a ponce.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. What possesses people? I do love the adorable felt rocket art. But the rest? In the immortal words of Sir Chuck: Good Grief.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh and of course I’m excluding the Calvin and Hobbes hi-tops.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I love the personalised felt picture and the family mobile. Those are both sweet. Most of the rest of it just made me recoil. The signature bracelet is sweet but I am not sure I would want a shiny aide to forgery on my arm or around my neck.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I could barely get past the completely inexplicable cheese. A cake topper? What the what???

    Liked by 1 person

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